Chicago - A message from the station manager

By Steve Rhodes

Due to technical problems, today’s column won’t be posted. We’re working to fix the issues. My e-mail service has also been temporarily interrupted, but as soon as it’s restored, I’ll be answering your messages again. Until then, thanks for your patience.
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“Scholars in antiquity began counting the ways that humans have sex, but they weren’t so diligent in cataloging the reasons humans wanted to get into all those positions,” the New York Times reports this morning in its Science Times section. “Darwin and his successors offered a few explanations of mating strategies – to find better genes, to gain status and resources – but they neglected to produce a Kama Sutra of sexual motivations.
“Perhaps you didn’t lament this omission. Perhaps you thought that the motivations for sex were pretty obvious. Or maybe you never really wanted to know what was going on inside other people’s minds, in which case you should stop reading immediately.
“For now, thanks to psychologists at the University of Texas at Austin, we can at last count the whys. After asking nearly 2,000 people why they’d had sex, the researchers have assembled and categorized a total of 237 reasons – everything from ‘I wanted to feel closer to God’ to ‘I was drunk.’ They even found a few people who claimed to have been motivated by the desire to have a child.”

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Posted on August 1, 2007

The [Tuesday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

“Scholars in antiquity began counting the ways that humans have sex, but they weren’t so diligent in cataloging the reasons humans wanted to get into all those positions,” the New York Times reports this morning in its Science Times section. “Darwin and his successors offered a few explanations of mating strategies – to find better genes, to gain status and resources – but they neglected to produce a Kama Sutra of sexual motivations.
“Perhaps you didn’t lament this omission. Perhaps you thought that the motivations for sex were pretty obvious. Or maybe you never really wanted to know what was going on inside other people’s minds, in which case you should stop reading immediately.
“For now, thanks to psychologists at the University of Texas at Austin, we can at last count the whys. After asking nearly 2,000 people why they’d had sex, the researchers have assembled and categorized a total of 237 reasons – everything from ‘I wanted to feel closer to God’ to ‘I was drunk.’ They even found a few people who claimed to have been motivated by the desire to have a child.”

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Posted on July 31, 2007

The [Monday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

The Tribune introduces its first front-page ad today.
Jesus, Back To Bed is the best you could do? A mattress dealer?
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Ad copy: “Tonight, get the sleep you dream about.”
Yes, take the Tribune to bed with you!
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I wonder if the powers-that-be thought a BP ad would be too hot to start with. Late last week and through the weekend, BP ads ran on the Trib website within pixels of the paper’s stories about the oil company’s controversial plan to increase the amount of crap it dumps in Lake Michigan from its Whiting, Indiana refinery.

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Posted on July 30, 2007

The Weekend Desk Report

By Natasha Julius

Sorry I’ve been gone so long this month. It took me a while to get over the Baconator.
A New Low
The Weekend Desk Sports Book would like to issue an apology. It appears we closed the betting on the Lunatic Attorney General race a touch too early. We honestly didn’t think anyone could top the Patriot Act, Son of the Patriot Act and that whole freaky calico cat thing. But you’ve got to admit, brow-beating your predecessor in his hospital room is going to be pretty tough to beat.

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Posted on July 28, 2007

The [Friday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

“Pepsi agreed to change labels on its Aquafina bottled water to show it comes from municipal taps,” the Sun-Times notes in a brief business item today. “Pepsi will spell out ‘Public Water Source’ on bottles of Aquafina, the largest U.S. bottled-water brand, after pressure from an advocacy group that said the snow-capped mountains on the bottle implied the source was spring water.
“Aquafina’s label currently reads, ‘Bottled at the Source P.W.S.,’ which stands for the public water sources. Aquafina is bottled in several U.S. cities.'”

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Posted on July 27, 2007

The [Thursday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

1. Kwik-E-Marts are doing a booming business.
ABC News reports that sales at the converted 7-11s, like this one on the Southwest Side, have doubled.
The stats:
* 960,000 cans of Buzz Cola sold
* 880,400 Sprinklicious donuts sold
* 1.1 million Squishees sold
And Krusty O’s? Can’t keep ’em in stock. The Kwik-E-Mart near Times Square in Manhattan ran out by 1 p.m. on the first day of the promotion.
2. The joyless Tribune not only wants to Spike the Spindle, they want you to think they’re clever for using that wacky Wayne’s World lingo.
3. Save the Spindle.
4.The names of the characters were changed. Timelines were shifted.”
Oh, just like Obama’s memoir!

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Posted on July 26, 2007

The [Wednesday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

You wouldn’t know it by the paltry coverage in your local papers, but Barack Obama’s statement during Monday night’s Democratic presidential debate that he would meet with the leaders of Cuba, North Korea, Iran and the like looks like the biggest political gaffe at least since John McCain’s stroll through that Baghdad market.
“I can see the ad now,” David Corn writes. “Kim Jong Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Fidel Castro, Bashar al-Assad, and Hugo Chavez all strolling into the White House, and a grinning Barack Obama greeting them with a friendly ‘Welcome, boys; what do you want to talk about?'”

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Posted on July 25, 2007

The [Monday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

A lot to catch up on today.
Mayoral Mystery
Why does the mayor behave like a profoundly unhappy man with a guilty conscience?
Paper Tiger
The Sun-Times editorial page tills familiar ground today excoriating the public for a supposed collective yawn at the latest in Chicago corruption without explaining its endorsements of Richard Daley and Todd Stroger, nor lambasting Barack Obama for his endorsements of both men even as he tries to run a presidential campaign based on an uncynical politics, nor directing its ire at the paper’s management for publishing City Hall press release after City Hall press release under Fran Spielman’s byline or its candy-coated Olympics coverage and severely understaffed newsroom.
With each finger the media points at the public for political apathy and ignorance, there are four fingers pointing back.

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Posted on July 23, 2007

The Weekend Desk Report

Editing power of the The Weekend Desk Report has been temporarily transferred to the minions of Natasha Julius as she undergoes a complicated procedure including yoga and a mountain retreat. We hope when she returns her nourished soul will still retain its breathtakingly brilliant edge. Or else we’ll be really pissed. The stories we’ll be watching for you over the next 48 hours:
Lock Your Doors
Spend the day in undisclosed locations such as bomb shelters and underground tunnels while Dick Cheney assumes control and tries to round up as many blacks, Jews, atheists, gays, Democrats, trial lawyers, war critics, feminazis and fans of Family Guy as possible during his presidency.

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Posted on July 21, 2007

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