Chicago -
By Steve Rhodes
“A B-52 bomber was mistakenly armed with six nuclear warheads and flown for more than three hours across several states last week, prompting the firing of one commander, Pentagon officials said Wednesday,” the Sun-Times notes in a brief on page 27.
Whoa!
What?
A B-52 was mistakenly armed with six nuclear warheads? And flew across several states? Didn’t anyone, um, notice?
And, um, which states?
Posted on September 6, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
The funny thing about Carlos Zambrano is that if he wasn’t a player he’d be one of those guys jumping out of the stands and running across the field to accost a player.
Oh wait.
Posted on September 5, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
BREAKING PHOTO 10:39 A.M.: Carlos Zambrano.
Big Zero
“I don’t accept the fans booing at me. I can’t understand that. I thought these were the greatest fans in baseball. But they showed me today that they just care about themselves. That’s not right. When you’re struggling, you want to feel the support of the fans. No, I don’t accept that.”
Um, first time at a ballpark, Carlos?
Posted on September 4, 2007
By Natasha Julius
Editor’s Note: The Beachwood will return on Tuesday.
Have a safe and happy holiday, everyone, and choose your Michael Jacksons with care. If you’re driving, toast the King of Pop. For the rest of you, honor the King of Beer responsibly.
Market Update
Pants are down. Jigs are up.
Posted on September 1, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
I’m not sure there’s ever a better place to be on the planet than in the audience when The Detroit Cobras are playing – given that mere mortals like us can’t be on stage in the band.
So I absolutely and unequivocally recommend the Cobras show at the Double Door tonight.
Resources:
* MySpace sound clips.
* Official band site.
* On Bloodshot.
* On Wikipedia.
* Rachel Nagy at the mike.
* Note the Labatt’s Blue.
* Rachel Nagy and Maribel Ramirez. Ramirez is the genius behind the outfit.
* With Wilco doing Volkswagen commercials (and truth be told, a history of spotty live shows), the Cobras are the best band going.
Appetizer
Before the show you may want to head over to Tiger O’Stylies in Berwyn for a Save the Spindle fundraiser.
Mmmm, car-kebab . . .
Posted on August 31, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
Richard Jewell is dead.
And the media still doesn’t get it.
*
Hilly Kristal is dead.
And the media still doesn’t get it.
*
Fat Joe Scapini is dead.
And the media still doesn’t get it.
Posted on August 30, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
So I’ve learned something valuable from Lance Briggs this week:
If I’m ever driving while royally stinking drunk and I total my car on an expressway at three in the morning, my best strategy is to flee the scene and report the accident later – maybe even report my car stolen first – because apparently lying to and evading the authorities is just a measly misdemeanor unlikely to result in much more than community service and a fine of a couple thousand dollars. Who knew?
Posted on August 29, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
There will be no column today as I have business to attend to, but everything from Monday’s column, posted below, is still true.
Also, Beachwood Laboratories has released a new study about the Class of 2011, our TV Desk has started to countdown the 35th anniversary of the debut of Maude with a very special episode guide, and The Political Odds have changed. Will we see two ex-governors in the same prison? You’ll have to read it to find out.
Plus, take the Bears Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Quiz! And the Meetup Match Game Quiz!
And what do Cubs players do during rain delays? We found out!
God, we’re good.
Posted on August 28, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
BREAKING NEWS 8:12 A.M.: “Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales, whose tenure has been marred by controversy and accusations of perjury before Congress, has resigned. A senior administration official said he would announce the decision later this morning in Washington,” the New York Times reports.
BREAKING COMMENTARY 8:04 A.M.: (Our very own Natasha Julius is that good; this arrived before the Times story): “As the Weekend Desk Editor, I just want to say that I am going to miss Alberto Gonzales. He could be relied upon to do something ridiculously villainous on an almost weekly basis. As a U.S. citizen and ardent fan of the Constitution, I just want to say it’s about frickin’ time. Geez.
“Are we seriously going to have to live through 17 more months of this? Seriously? It’s like W is the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. He’s just a head and a torso, rolling around and screaming at everyone. And guess what? His torso just resigned!
“Come back here! I’ll bite your legs off!”
Posted on August 27, 2007
By Natasha Julius
We’re playing hurt this week, but that won’t stop us bringing you the stories that matter most.
Axis Update
President Bush this week once again urged the nation not to let Lindsey Lohan turn into another Nicole Richie. This warning came even as party stalwarts appeared to signal they were not willing to subject the nation to a Paris Hilton-style engagement. Meanwhile, Britney Spears has reached a new level of devastation.
Posted on August 25, 2007
