Chicago -
By Steve Rhodes
According to the Sun-Times today, Chicago is “putting its best fist forward” and taking “another swing” at proving it can host a big event in its staging of the World Boxing Championships.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
It’s so amazing how newspaper people can come up with such clever puns. They’re smarter than fifth-graders!
Posted on October 23, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
1. Devin Hester is . . . oh, you already know by now.
2. Even though he “was so lost in the two-minute drill that Muhsin Muhammad had to line him up, physically moving him around by the shoulders a couple of times,” the Sun-Times‘s Mike Mulligan writes in his look at the Bears’ game-winning driving.
3. “In an interview with Bears play-by-play man Jeff Joniak on WBBM-AM’s pregame show, Lance Briggs talked about how surviving his one-car crash on the Edens Expressway gave his life renewed purpose,” Vaughn McClure writes in the Tribune’s Bears Bits.
“I think about [the crash] more in the light that I’m alive and in a crash that for whatever reason God wanted me to walk away from without a scratch,” Briggs said.
Oh, so it was God who wanted him to walk away from that accident. Then, later, God changed His mind and told him to report it.
Posted on October 22, 2007
The Weekend Desk Report will not appear this weekend due to unforeseen circumstances, which may or may not include the Superbug and the official start of World War III.
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The [Friday] Papers
Funny, Tribune Company got in trouble with its big Times-Mirror deal that eventually sunk them in part because they were depending on the FCC changing its media consolidation rules. Now the same issue threatens their deal with Sam Zell.
And that’s probably what’s holding up the sale of the Cubs, too.
They never learn.
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99 More Years!
KGB Chicago
Maybe Rich Daley oughta quit this cowpoke town and go run the CIA. After all, he’s obsessed with knowing everyone’s business while maintaining his own secrecy.
“Daley Calls For Cameras To Sweep Up Parking Violators,” the Sun-Times announces this morning.
What’s next, cameras in our kitchens?
Posted on October 20, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
Funny, Tribune Company got in trouble with its big Times-Mirror deal that eventually sunk them in part because they were depending on the FCC changing its media consolidation rules. Now the same issue threatens their deal with Sam Zell.
And that’s probably what’s holding up the sale of the Cubs, too.
They never learn.
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99 More Years!
KGB Chicago
Maybe Rich Daley oughta quit this cowpoke town and go run the CIA. After all, he’s obsessed with knowing everyone’s business while maintaining his own secrecy.
“Daley Calls For Cameras To Sweep Up Parking Violators,” the Sun-Times announces this morning.
What’s next, cameras in our kitchens?
Posted on October 19, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
Wow. We could have a real tax revolt on our hands here. I sense the citizenry is being pushed too far. Break out the pitchforks.
But who do you march on first?
Posted on October 18, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
Tom Tunney wasn’t talking on Tuesday.
Nonetheless, the North Side alderman only dug his hole deeper in his little cell phone scandal.
In a prepared statement – apparently afraid to face live reporters – Tunney “said”:
“When I arrived at my office, I did call the 23rd district commander to question why, in an understaffed police district where we have serious crimes unsolved, officers are assigned to pull people over solely for cell phone violations,” according to the Sun-Times.
1. If a police officer sees it happen right in front of him or her, isn’t the officer duty-bound to make the traffic stop?
2. Would Tunney have made a similar call had a constituent come to his office to register the same complaint?
Posted on October 17, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
Ald. Tom Tunney (44th) is today’s Worst Person in Chicago.
“Tunney got cell phone ticket, handed over driver’s license – but police gave it back after he made a call,” the Sun-Times reports.
Maybe that’s just one of the perks of the job – like Cubs playoff tickets.
Posted on October 16, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
Editor’s Note: Sorry I’m so late this morning, as I neared the completion of the column I lost the whole thing and had to reconstruct the whole damn thing. The things I do for you people.
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1. Devin Hester is obviously ridiculous.
2. So is Adrian Peterson.
3. A $2 tax for every TV in sports bars? A $3 tax every time Gov. Blagojevich runs past you? A $50 tax every time you get your picture taken with Ronnie Woo-Woo or Mike Ditka?
Schadenfreude takes a crack at the mayor’s budget.
Posted on October 15, 2007
By Natasha Julius
The Weekend Desk is deployed on many assignments this weekend. Let’s take a look.
Gore Is Winning
Funny how Al Gore has become too big for the presidency. He’s moved past that. It would be a step down, now that he’s Master of the Universe. He’s definitely winning. Do you think George W. Bush will ever win a Nobel? Or even write a book all by himself? Gore is almost a superhero now. If only he could step in and finish out Bush’s term, clean things up and hand the job over to the next schmuck while he goes on tour with Bono and meets with space aliens.
Posted on October 13, 2007
By Steve Rhodes
Illinois schools now require students to observe a moment of silence every day.
Brought to you by the Democrats.
“Rep. Will Davis (D-Homewood), the bill’s chief sponsor, denied he was promoting school prayer but instead said a moment of silence possibly could avert tragedies like the recent school shooting in Cleveland, where a troubled 14-year-old shot two students and two teachers before killing himself,” the Sun-Times reports.
“Just think if that student had an opportunity maybe to sit and reflect,” Davis said.
Yes. Just think.
Posted on October 12, 2007
