By Steve Rhodes
Just going to add a few items to yesterday’s column.
* “Let me put the chilling language of bureaucracy in terms you may better understand,” Dennis O’Toole writes in the Tribune: “There are 10.5 million fewer chickens to eat right now than a year ago, and, therefore, 21 million fewer wings. Demand, meanwhile, remains steadfast and unwavering. As a result, chicken breasts are cheaper than wings for the first time in the recorded history of things like this.
“Bars and restaurants all over our once-great nation have responded by booting wings from the menu. Such an act of cowardice is akin to spitting on a bald eagle or putting an American flag in the dishwasher.”

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Posted on November 27, 2009

By Steve Rhodes
1. “State Treasurer Alexi Giannoulias has made millions of dollars from his family’s community bank since his election in 2006, much of it from payouts related to his father’s death, according to four years of tax returns he released Wednesday,” the Tribune reports.
“Giannoulias, a Democrat running in the primary for U.S. Senate, released his tax returns the day before Thanksgiving, when fewer people are likely to notice the news. The treasurer has been criticized by Democratic Senate opponent David Hoffman for large Broadway Bank payouts to him and his family.”

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Posted on November 26, 2009

By Steve Rhodes
“The roster of 449 inmates at the U.S. Penitentiary Administrative Maximum Facility – dubbed the Supermax – includes a Sept. 11 conspirator, Zacarias Moussaoui; the would-be ‘shoe bomber,’ Richard Reid; the mastermind of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, Ramzi Yousef; and a former Chicago gang member accused of aiding terrorists, Jose Padilla,” the Tribune reports.
“The cells here also house the Unabomber, Theodore Kaczynski, of south suburban Evergreen Park, and Timothy McVeigh’s accomplice in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing, Terry Nichols.
“But if having terrorists imprisoned a 10-minute walk from your home is a safety risk, there’s no sign of that in Florence, Colo., a rural community about 110 miles south of Denver.
“‘We still leave our doors unlocked at night,’ former Mayor Bart Hall said.”

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Posted on November 25, 2009

By Steve Rhodes
1. Facebook feed: “Matt Farmer predicts that a general lack of strength, focus and agility will leave at least four Chicago Bears linemen trampled under foot by fellow shoppers on Black Friday.”
2. Via Jameson Campaigne: A cool unemployment map.
3. Why didn’t I get a flu shot? I’m a Mac and I thought we didn’t get viruses.

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Posted on November 24, 2009

By Steve Rhodes
Wow, that really sucked. You’d think the swine flu would be more fun to have considering it’s named after a beast that gives us so much goodness.
LISA: I’m going to become a vegetarian.
HOMER: Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?
LISA: Yes.
HOMER: Bacon?
LISA: Yes, Dad.
HOMER: Ham?
LISA: Dad, all those meats come from the same animal.
HOMER: Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!

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Posted on November 23, 2009

By Natasha Julius
Don’t worry, everyone. If the pigs don’t get you, the leaping carp will.
Market Update
Home values in Lakeview showed a staggering increase this week. Well, you know, relatively speaking anyway.

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Posted on November 21, 2009

By Steve Rhodes
Ugh. This is brutal. “Got the pig bug?” one friend asked via Facebook. I doubt it, probably just regular flu. But how can you tell? All I know is it’s like a sanitarium in here. I don’t know how people persevere through serious illness because the misery of this one is just about all I can take. Fever, chills, headache, a cough that seizes every muscle in my body . . . just brutal. And yet, I think I’m on the upswing! I’m planning to return to Beachwood full-force tomorrow, but we’ll see. I kinda thought I’d be back today but I have a blinding headache and I’m still drenched in my own sweat.

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Posted on November 18, 2009

By Steve Rhodes
Here’s the note I sent to my NBCChicago.com minders this morning:
“i’m so sorry, i think i’ve got the flu, and unfortunately i’m not joking. i’ve been staving off symptoms for the better part of the week and it hit me full force the last 24 hours. i’m going to go back to sleep and hope i either wake up cured or don’t wake up at all. and i had a bunch of story ideas lined up from the weekend. michael scott, whoa! abdon’s sun-times story about new trier endorsement was one, death penalty moratorium and gitmo prisoners entering governor’s race was one (is jim ryan now the moderate) . . . please use if you want . . . or not . . . ugh, i’ve used up as many brain cells as are working right now. if i don’t make it, i want pink floyd’s “wish you were here” played at my funeral . . . i’m sorry.”

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Posted on November 16, 2009

By Natasha Julius
Look on the bright side, Bears fans. At least it’s safe to watch football this weekend.
Market Update
Illinois’ battered economy looks set to receive an unexpected boost as the state is poised to post significant gains in the import market for other people’s problems.

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Posted on November 14, 2009

By Steve Rhodes
1. “You could say that the Bears left their season right here, in San Francisco with Thursday’s ugly 10-6 loss, but that would ignore the failings by this team that have been spread across the country,” Brad Biggs writes in the Sun-Times.
2. “I think he realizes he can’t be elected governor unless he apologizes,” Rob Warden says of Jim Ryan’s apology in the Jeanine Nicarico prosecutions. “He is no more sincere than Dugan. I don’t mean to equate what Ryan did with what Dugan did because Dugan committed three murders, Ryan only committed three attempted murders: Rolando Cruz; Alejandro Hernandez and Stephen Buckley. I think he should pull out of the race and turn his campaign fund into a benevolent fund for Cruz, Hernandez and Buckley.”

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Posted on November 13, 2009