By Steve Rhodes

My laptop died this morning – and then somehow I miraculously brought it back to life. I wonder what it saw on the other side.
As a consequence, however, today’s Beachwood will be a little late – later than usual, these days.
In order to maximize your reading day, here’s a tip: I start posting in the Sports section, then move to Music and the rest of the site. I do The Papers last. So even if it looks like the same old thing out front, new posts are appearing elsewhere on the site as I go.
And in case the whole Beachwood edifice crashes, remember I’ll be back behind the bar tonight. At least the bar doesn’t freeze up, though sometimes it spins.

Posted on June 6, 2011

By Natasha Julius

Be sure to slap on your sunscreen this weekend. If you remember how, that is.
Market Update
We don’t like to keep our money in the Human Misery Exchange, but we’ve got a strong feeling Hunger and Starvation will soon post impressive gains.

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Posted on June 4, 2011

By Steve Rhodes

Best opening question in a cross-examination ever:
“Mr. Blagojevich, you are a convicted liar, correct?” Assistant U.S. Atty. Reid Schar asked.
“Yes,” Blagojevich answered.
Instant classic, Mr. Schar. Or to whoever credit is due – Patrick Fitzgerald may have had something to do with it.

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Posted on June 3, 2011

By Steve Rhodes

“You now have a government owning an operation whose sole purpose is to make people losers,” the Rev. Tom Grey, a longtime gambling opponent, tells the Tribune. “When government accepts the role that it will use an addictive product on its own citizens, it becomes a predator.”

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Posted on June 2, 2011

By Steve Rhodes

We’re sorry to see our new mayor make a sucker’s bet so early in his term.
Oh wait, that’s not us, that’s Crain’s. You know, the business publication always nattering about the business climate because its specialty is, well, business?
Here’s what they have to say:
“Mayor Rahm Emanuel came out strongly last week for a casino in Chicago. He apparently buys the argument that a casino is a sure-thing producer of jobs and revenue.
“Don’t fall for it Mr. Mayor.
“Casinos don’t bring new spending to town. They divert local spending from other purposes. Too often, those other purposes are groceries, rent, car payments and similar family necessities.
“Studies show social ills rise in places that have casinos. Guess who bears the cost of those social ills? That’s right, taxpayers.”

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Posted on June 1, 2011

By Steve Rhodes

With Rod Blagojevich set to take the stand this morning for his third day of testimony in his corruption trial, our very own Ed Hammer indulges in a look ahead to his likely future:
“As the convicted Blagojevich arrives at the federal prison in Terre Haute, the pent-up and hostile murderers, drug dealers and con men jeer and sneer him and the other fresh meat,” he writes in The Terre Haute Redemption. “Like Red, George Ryan, who loved the casinos on the outside, bets cigarettes and money with the other inmates on how long before the new kid with the Justin Bieber haircut would last before he cries.
“Unsympathetic, Ryan gives him until his first meal. Ryan loses the bet. Blagojevich makes it through the first night without even a whimper. In a scornful baritone, Ryan remarks, ‘I’ll have to admit, I didn’t think much of Rod the first time I saw him, but his first night in the joint, Rod Blagojevich cost me two packs of cigarettes. He never made a sound.'”

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Posted on May 31, 2011

The Beachwood Reporter is off for the holiday. But the Beachwood Inn will be open as usual tonight, and I’ll be behind the bar slinging cold Old Styles and witty banter. Stop in and see what all the fuss is about.

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Posted on May 30, 2011

By Natasha Julius

You know who did the calling, Michelle? The Weekend Desk. That’s a lot of Reports that will write themselves between now and Election Day.
Market Update
Moral bankruptcy filings were down this quarter, causing a temporary run on the Credibility index. However, analysts are quick to point out that the alternative strategy of trading heavily on The Reputation of the Dead generally doesn’t lead to long-term recovery.

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Posted on May 28, 2011

By Steve Rhodes

How was Mashed Media?
I met up with Beachwood alumni Scott “The Commissioner” Gordon, visiting from Florida where he now lives, at the bar early last evening and didn’t make it home until well after the show aired.
I do want to catch up with it. I will, I swear.
*
Also, Columbia Journalism Review takes a look at the Beachwood for its News Frontier Database project.

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Posted on May 27, 2011

By Steve Rhodes

As I’ve written here before, I can’t bear watching myself on TV, but tonight I will try to give it a go.
For the last two years I have given occasional interviews to local independent filmmaker Brett Schwartz about the state of the media and the state of ye olde Beachwood in the midst of it. I am just one bit player in the final result, Brett’s Mashed Media, which airs tonight on Channel 11 at 10 p.m.
Seeing the lineup that comprises the rest of the “cast,” as well as this (wrongheaded) write-up by Robert Feder is cause for a little trepidation – Will Brett’s exploration go beyond the tired talking points and unvetted claims we’ve grown accustomed to? Is Bill Adee really the star for creating the gruesome ChicagoNow platform? – but what can you do.
Here’s Brett’s own synopsis:

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Posted on May 26, 2011