By Steve Rhodes
A weekly look at the magazines laying around Beachwood HQ.
Simpsonsology
In an oral history of The Simpsons, Vanity Fair reveals that Fox Broadcasting went so far as to audition replacement voices in the midst of bitter contract negotiations. “You know, the show has made so much money, in so many ways,” says Hank Azaria, the voice of Apu, Moe, Chief Wiggum and Comic Book Guy, among others. “Eventually, we just wanted to get our piece of the pie. And Fox is tough. They’re very tough negotiators. Their business model is not to give money away. So it got a little intense at times.”
Rupert Murdoch’s view: “The voices, who have been there since the very beginning, are now getting very large salaries . . . I’m not saying whether they’re worth it or not. Or whether you could replace them or not, but Jim [Brooks] wouldn’t hear of that, because they’re all his friends.”
At the time, the Simpsons actors – and make no mistake, the voices are the show’s actors – made about $25,000 an episode, while the cast of Seinfeld made about $600,000 per show.
Political Greenwashing
“When it comes to climate change, the Democrats are proving almost as bad as George Bush,” reports The Economist. “Not only have the Democrats shelved any plan for limiting greenhouse emissions; they have also embraced two fo Mr. Bush’s more pernicious ideas: using greenery as an excuse to dole out subsidies to ungreen lobbies; and claiming a bogus link gbetween climate change and energy independence.”
Scientology Theology
“As a Scientologist proceeds ‘up the bridge,’ he can gain access to esoteric knowledge, like how we thetans got here,” The New York Times Magazine reports. “Scientology, it has been widely reported, teaches that 75 milliion years ago the evil alien Xenu solved galactic overpopulation by dumping 13.5 trillion beings in volcanoes in Earth, where they were vaporized, scattering their souls.”
Desert Delusion
Let’s face it, Phoenix sucks. No matter how much of a spin Dwell tries to put on it.
Hey, Look
What New Yorker contributor Simon Rich imagined people were saying about him at various times of his life. A painfully honest and hilarious must-read.
Cartoon in the same issue: Inside a cabin at Law Camp. A balding man in a suit walks in and says to his studious charges, “Who’s up for archery waivers?”
The Ultimate Sellouts
“The granting of favorable concessions to dictatorial regimes is a practice hardly limited to the current administration,” Ken Silverstein notes in Harper’s. “Bill Clinton came into office having said that China’s access to American markets should be tied to improved human rights – specifically its willingness to ‘recognize the legitimacy of those kids that were carrying the Statue of Liberty’ at Tiananmen Square – but left having helped Beijing attain its long-cherised goal of Permanent Most Favored Nation trade status.
“Jimmy Carter put the promotion of human rights at the heart of his foreign policy, yet he cut deals for South American generals and Persian Gulf monarchs in much the same fashion as his successor, Ronald Reagan.
“How is it that regimes widely acknowledged to be the world’s most oppressive nevertheless continually win favors in Washington?”
Silverstein goes undercover to find out.
Last Rites
The final issue of Punk Planet illustrates why it was such a great magazine. From the Table of Contents:
* Skate Baghdad! A makeshift skatepark allowed soldiers serving in Baghdad to escape the brutality of war. Jeff Cagle reports.
* South by Southwaste. Has the mega-festival SXSW gotten too big for its britches? Kyle Ryan investigates.
* Gender-Fucking the Media. Can the media discuss gender without pronouns or stereotypes? Some can.
* Occupation on the Homefront. When representatives don’t listen to the people, the people don’t stop talking – they just move in closer. Maya Schenwar on the Occupation Project.
* Personality Crisis. The Independent Press Association is gone now, but the damage done may never be forgotten. By Paul M. Davis.
Posted on July 19, 2007