By Jonathan Shipley
A weekly roundup from Shipley’s nightstand.
Crazy Profits
According to the December 9th issue of Science News, medications widely prescribed to treat schizophrenia cost hundreds of dollars more each month than older, less-popular medication that provides similar results. “The bottom line is that the old drug is substantially less expensive and no less effective than the new drugs are,” Yale psychiatrist Robert Rosenheck tells the magazine. Just because you’re crazy doesn’t mean the drug companies aren’t out to get you.
The Poop on Face Goop
The January issue of Consumer Reports highlights tests the best wrinkle creams on the market. The verdict? They don’t do much. The wrinkle creams that did negligibly better than their face goop counterparts include Olay Regenerist, Lancome Paris Renergie, and Retin-Ox+. Le Coppertone was not tested, but we sense it would have compared favorably.
All-Access Heaven
According to the February issue of Psychology Today, 79 percent of Americans believe people of faiths other than their own can go to Heaven. Satan responded angrily, accusing God of stealing his marketing ideas.
Masking Agent
There’s an extensive interview with Rey Mysterio in the November issue of WWF Magazine. Mysterio thinks it’s “not a big deal” to wear a mask while wrestling. The mask he wore in WrestleMania 21 gave him trouble though. “As soon as the bell rang, Eddie – who was my opponent at the time – grabbed me in a headlock, and the mask slipped around my eyes. I knew it was going to be a rough night.” It was also a rough night for Madge Simpkins who was sitting on seat A4 during WrestleMania 21. The 71-year-old was hit with a folding chair and is still in a coma. Mysterio has sent flowers.
Rebel Yell
Rolling Stone‘s year-end issue highlights “rock’s new rebels” and has a subset of “Fallen Rebels,” rebels that have, according to the magazine, “lost the plot.” The most glaring omission on that list was Rolling Stone itself.
Burnin’ Rubber
The January issue of Road & Track has a blurb about the new Tesla Roadster, which, according to some claims, can go 0 to 60 in 4 seconds and has a range of 250 miles between charges. Curiously, schizophrenics have the same abilities using the old medicine.
Safety First
Motorcycle safety is discussed in earnest within the pages of the January/February issue of Journey Magazine, The Magazine for AAA Members. The magazine highlights what motorcyclists can do to be safer on the roads, including wearing appropriate clothing, having proper lighting, completing a motorcycle safety course, maintaining the bike, and wearing approved eye protection. Drivers can help as well. They can be extra cautious on weekends when more motorcycles are on the road, providing motorcyclists with adequate room to maneuver, checking mirrors frequently, and not hitting them with their cars and dragging their bodies for miles.
Hummers
The January issue of National Geographic has a beautiful article about hummingbirds. “They’re living on the edge of what’s possible for vertebrates, and they’re mastering it,” says ornithologist Karl Schuchmann. A hummingbird’s cranberry-size heart beats 500 times a minute. Curiously, that’s also the heart rate of schizophrenics when using the old medicine.
Jonathan Shipley prefers his old meds.
Posted on December 22, 2006