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The Periodical Table

By Jonathan Shipley

A weekly roundup of what’s on Shipley’s nightstand.
Scout’s Honor
James Calderwood has earned every Boy Scout merit badge possible – 121 in all, according to The Week. He’s also earned a badge not officially offered by the Boy Scouts but tough to achieve anyway: Virgin for Life.
Beam Them Up
After 300 years of unification with England, the Atlantic says, Scotland may finally achieve independence. Its president-in-exile is already making plans.
Make ‘Em Dance in the Aisles
NBC News anchor Brian Williams tells Men’s Vogue his secret: “To be taken seriously, make them laugh.” Because the news is so funny.


Breakfast Reading
If you’re interested in theories of technological innovation, The New York Times Sunday Magazine reports on a debate about whether everything is, in the long run, just a toaster.
War Criminal, World Banker
John Cassidy profiles Paul Wolfowitz in The New Yorker. “The most suprising thing about Wolfowitz is that he’s a bleeding heart,” says one pal. Well, it’s Christopher Hitchens, so whatever. But Cassidy shows how neocons truly are liberals gone awry.
Plus, I can’t believe my Geico.com caption wasn’t a finalist for contest #91! – Ed.
Green Envy
Vanity Fair‘s 2nd annual Green Issue, featuring Leonardo DiCaprio on the cover, is the most boring green issue ever produced and most boring issue of Vanity Fair ever produced, ironically making it a big waste of trees. Don’t even bother paging through it.
Bag Ladies
Teen Vogue‘s latest “Gotta Have It” feature says you gotta have a fancy clutch from Nine West. But the cool kids know that it was cooler to be into Eight West, and they’ve moved on.
Sore Losers
Nevada has the highest murder rate – 8.56 per 100,000 people – among states in the country, according to the April 9th issue of Time . Apparently some folks get four-tenths of their bodies into California before finally dropping dead.
Screen Door
The Shins make the cover of No Depression; Dolly Varden takes their place alongside the, Ry Cooder, and Carlene Carter in the feature well. Nifty nugget: Varden’s Diane Christiansen not only sings but continues to work as a marriage and couples counselor. The band photo was taken in Downers Grove.

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Posted on April 9, 2007