By Steve Rhodes
“He needs cookies and milk, department stores to make his appearances and post offices to handle all the letters from children.
“If Santa Claus ever wants to relocate from the North Pole, he should consider Peoria in central Illinois. That’s the conclusion of a Canadian think tank that analyzed data on Canadian and U.S. cities to compile a scientific list of top-10 places suitable for Santa,” AP reports.
Plus, he doesn’t even have to guarantee jobs cleaning reindeer dung to get a tax break.
Spooky Action At A Distance
“Mianne Nelson, all 5-foot-6 of her, did something Friday morning that 300-pound National Football League linemen find challenging: She sacked Tim Tebow,” the Lakeland Ledger in Florida reports.
“Nelson, Polk County’s communications director, removed a cardboard image of the Denver Broncos quarterback from a public park in Bartow after complaints about its placement beside a Christmas Nativity scene.”
Here’s the spooky part: The park is called Millennium Park. And Nelson is a Bears fan. (And I used to work at the Ledger).
Plus, click through to see the photo, it’s pretty awesome.
Christmas Message From Cardinal George
Chicago Cardinal Says Gay Rights Movement Is Just Like The KKK.
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Reminiscent of George likening the media to communist spies.
Bag Man
“An eighth conspirator, a former major in the Army National Guard, was sentenced to five years in federal prison for taking bribes from military contractors at Bagram Airfield in Afghanistan for verifying receipt of concrete bunkers and barriers that were never delivered,” Courthouse News Service reports.
“Christopher West, of Chicago, was sentenced this week by U.S. District Judge Matthew F. Kennelly in Chicago. West also was ordered to pay $500,000 in restitution to the Department of Defense.”
Cook County Democratic Party leaders are finding him a job at O’Hare as we speak.
Why I Wrote My First Book
“Everybody has a story, but I felt that mine was enough to inspire people not to go through the things that I went through,” West Sider Jermel Taylor says. “At the age of 15 I shot someone, but at the age of 12 I started selling heroin, trying to be like the older homies I saw running the neighborhood.”
The Week in Chicago Rock
Slim pickin’s this week.
Programming Note
Due to special holiday scheduling, I’ll be behind the bar with Bob tonight from 10 p.m. to close (2 a.m.). Hijinks will ensue.
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The Beachwood Tip Line: Slim pickin’s.
Posted on December 23, 2011