By Natasha Julius
Apparently the North Side is being stalked by wild animals again, but that won’t stop us watching the key stories for you.
Market Update
The assets of the blue chip Alphabetic Grading System suffered heavy hits this week when it was revealed they had been repeatedly short-sold. Taking into account the arbitrary manner in which top assets have been distributed, Fitch Ratings has downgraded AGS’s rating from “Super Fantastic Plus” to just plain “Super Fantastic.”
One Man’s Ceiling . . .
When officials with AGS were asked to give a cap for their asset valuation – something along the lines of “AAAA++” perhaps – they balked. “If we tried to set a ceiling on the Chicago exchange, someone would just try to climb in through it,” one official was quoted as saying.
. . . Is Another Man’s Floor
China’s culture minister has expressed his displeasure with the country’s mass media and popular culture, branding them “vulgar” and “vanity projects.” Damn, in Illinois that qualifies you to be governor.
Mayor Disappointment
The newly installed mayor of Reykjavik, Iceland, has apparently fundamentally misunderstood his mandate. You’re supposed to be a total drag not totally show up in drag.
Apple Polisher
When asked to assess Gov. Quinn’s plan to balance the state’s budget by taking in less revenue, Fitch Ratings awarded the plan its highly pessimistic AAA- rating.
Drink Green
Finally this week, Starbucks has taken the concept of health food to a new low by declaring their green coffee low-calorie fruit juice. Look at the bright side: at least they won’t be able to over-roast the beans this time.
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The Weekend Desk Tip Line: Super Fantastic.
Posted on August 7, 2010