By Natasha Julius
LABOR DAY UPDATE: While there will be no Papers column today, please note the fantastic new material we’ve posted to the site just for your enjoyment. ->>>
The Weekend Desk Report
Just be really careful at the barbecue this weekend, OK? You watch the recipes, we’ll watch the headlines.
Market Update
Concerned about a lingering trade deficit, at least one American institution has hit on a novel way to keep cash in the United States.
Running Mate Runner-Up
Sarah Palin looked to avenge a decades-old loss this week by entering one beauty contest in which she’s almost certain to trounce the competition. Sorry, Joe, but years of foreign policy experience can’t help you here.
Running Free
Meanwhile, key McCain wranglers rejoiced at having distracted the public from his 72nd birthday. Sources close to the Republican candidate say that as long as no one mentions the whole Katrina anniversary the weekend will be a total win.
Daddy’s Girl
Lindsay Lohan this week bristled at her father’s continued meddling in her affairs, suggesting he simply wants access to her financial assets so he can bolster his own depleted coffers.
While You Were Gone . . .
Taking advantage of key distractions this week, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich continued his attempts to completely bankrupt the state’s public transit system in the name of fairness. Analysts point out that this latest wave of gubernatorial generosity may leave the Regional Transit Authority literally without a pot to piss in.
Paper Cuts
Finally this week, duh. Just ask Jay Mariotti.
Posted on August 30, 2008