By Natasha Julius
It’s that weekend again, readers. The weekend when we stand at the edge of the abyss and peek down; when we begin to contemplate, after five glorious months, the idea of a Sunday without football. Worse, there’s still one more game waiting in the future, tantalizingly close but still too far away to be a reality. So what can you do to fill the final bye week? Fear not. As a service to you, we present the patented Beachwood Reporter Weekend Desk Super Bore Sunday Distraction List. These time-tested techniques will see you through to the Big Game in no time.
1. Cruise the strip. Get yourself a fake ID and hit the damn town.
2. Gamble. You know, the old-fashioned way.
3. Join a clown party.
4. Play Robot Wars: NFL Edition. Build an unstoppable bludgeoning machine out of products endorsed by Peyton Manning. Or, alternatively, just watch TV. Extra points for working in some Double Stuf Oreos.
5. Three words: avant garde puppetry.
6. Seek the Republican nomination. Seriously, you’re still in this.
7. Distract yourself with word games. Obsessively anagram the phrase TOM BRADY HIGH ANKLE SPRAIN. Laugh like a twelve year old when you get to A BRAINY MODEL’S THIGH PRANK.
8. Go out on a date. Be careful, though. There are some real freaks out there.
9. Finish writing that rousing speak you’ve been kicking around. Oh, and while you’re at it, fix the Middle East already.
10. Picket a summit.
11. Watch the NHL All-Star Game. No, seriously.
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And stay informed: Catch up on the week’s Papers.
Posted on January 26, 2008