By Natasha Julius
The Weekend Desk is deployed on many assignments this weekend. Let’s take a look.
Gore Is Winning
Funny how Al Gore has become too big for the presidency. He’s moved past that. It would be a step down, now that he’s Master of the Universe. He’s definitely winning. Do you think George W. Bush will ever win a Nobel? Or even write a book all by himself? Gore is almost a superhero now. If only he could step in and finish out Bush’s term, clean things up and hand the job over to the next schmuck while he goes on tour with Bono and meets with space aliens.
America is Losing
The U.S. mission in Iraq is a “nightmare with no end in sight” because of political misjudgments after the fall of Saddam Hussein that continue today, a former chief of U.S.-led forces said Friday.”
There’s really nothing funny to say about that.
Indiana Stinks
Indiana is at it again.
Doomsday Scenario
Somehow we thought Doomsday would be more fun than this.
Tower of Evil
The Tribune is not only against hugging, it’s going to start charging employees who smoke a hundred bucks to offset health care costs. What a wonderful workplace it could be.
Sourcing Sneed
Friday: “Fuel ’em: Sneed hears that if there is considerable City Council resistance to Mayor Daley’s proposed property tax increase, watch for a fuel tax increase to be back on the table.
“Translation: The fuel tax can create a $50 million bucket of cash for the city coffers . . . and ‘the beauty is half of it would be paid by the airlines,’ said a top top city source.”
And who was that top top source? We’ll take a wild guess.
Thursday: “The tax on fuel is [an] option that was originally tossed around but is not included in the proposal here,” said Ald. Edward Burke (14th). “The one good part of that tax is that 50 percent of it is paid by the airlines.”
Parochial School
“We confiscated more than 15,000 guns. No other city does that,” the mayor declared this week.
Sources close to Google say that is patently false.
Marijuana Mitt
I’d rather you live out the rest of your short life in pain.
Posted on October 13, 2007