By Natasha Julius
LOOKING FOR OUR CUBS SONG? HERE IT IS . . . “PLEASE STOP BELIEVING!”
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Catch up with the week’s Papers.
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Special Marathon Edition
This weekend, we turn our focus away from the main event in town and concentrate instead on the marathons that really matter. Our always-reliable Weekend Desk predictions will help you plan your upcoming wagers.
A Perv in the Bush . . .
The field for the elite Wall Street Sustained Denial Marathon got a little smaller with the shock retirement of heavy favorite Marion Jones. While most punters will doubtless rush to back fellow steroid denier Barry Bonds, we don’t think he has the stamina to hang with the heavy-hitters. This year it’s a two-man race between world-class dissemblers Pervez “Free and Fair” Musharraf and George “Head-Slap” Bush. Give an edge to the cowboy in a late sprint.
Wide Stance
If there’s one clear-cut lock this week, it’s in the Blackwater USA Overstayed Welcome event. There’s no reason to believe anyone will challenge favorite Larry Craig. Meanwhile, the title sponsor is itself emerging as a hot bet in the Southwest Airlines Endless PR Nightmare Marathon.
Market Update
Don’t worry; it’s still bad.
Longer Distance
Finally this weekend, it’s time for yet another update on the punishing McCain-Feingold Campaign Double Marathon. There’s still too much jockeying for position in the lead pack, although at least one main contender looks to be a good ten years behind. With the end not even in sight yet, we can’t predict a winner but we’re pretty sure we know a few of the losers.
Posted on October 6, 2007