By Mike Luce

Welcome to the final week of the regular season, or as we like to call it at The College Football Report: Contingency Weekend.
Exhibit A: Should #1 Alabama lose to #15 Auburn in the Iron Bowl on Saturday and #4 Mississippi State beat #19 Ole Miss in the Egg Bowl, MSU goes to the SEC Championship game to play the Eastern Division winner, which will probably be #17 Missouri, unless the Tigers lose in which case it will be #9 Georgia and should Missouri or Georgia win, the SEC may not send a team to the playoff, especially if Mizzou wins the SEC over Mississippi State and the Pac-12, Big 12, Big Ten, and ACC favorites win out, which will result in disastrous of Biblical proportions. Real wrath-of-God-type stuff. Fire and brimstone, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, or, in short, mass hysteria.
Although Kirk Herbstreit would probably show up for work on Sunday slathered in buckeye butter and rolled in scarlet and grey glitter.

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Posted on November 28, 2014

By Carl Mohrbacher

Inferior opponent, coach who makes terrible halftime adjustments, defense that plays some, uh, actual defense, Bears win!
Why can’t all teams be like the Buccaneers? Where, oh where can we find another NFL team that plays only one good half of the game?
Where can we find an incomplete team who every Sunday provides their fans with momentary flashes of brilliance that only punctuate the doldrums that are the other 35 minutes of the game?
Where (other than 40% of the league*), I ask you? Where?

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Posted on November 27, 2014

By Dan O’Shea

The most difficult thing about presenting the Pope’s Nose awards this year is that there are so many fantasy turkeys worthy of consideration, particularly at the RB and WR position
(Surprisingly, a large number of QBs are meeting expectations or coming pretty close.)
If you know anything about the Pope’s Nose awards, that’s not a good thing.
Without further adieu, here are this year’s loser-winners:

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Posted on November 26, 2014

By Mike Luce

1. Arkansas.
The ‘Hogs played spoiler to Ole Miss, torpedoing any shot the Rebels had of backing into a playoff berth. Despite two losses (to #24 LSU and #3 Auburn), Ole Miss had a hypothetical shot at the SEC Championship and, with a win, a playoff spot. But after losing 30-0 on the road, that all went poof.

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Posted on November 24, 2014

By Jim Coffman

The coach wouldn’t let his quarterback blow this one.
During possession after possession after the Bears took a 21-10 lead in the third quarter Sunday (and then after the Buccaneers pulled within 21-13), it was clear that with just a few first downs, let alone another touchdown, the home team would take absolute command of the game.
But Marc Trestman took no chances. Too many times this season he has watched Jay Cutler throw brutal interceptions in the second halves of winnable games. This time, when the coach called a pass after the team took the 11-point lead, it was ultra-conservative. Most of the time, he called run after run after run. And the Bears rode their defense to a 21-13 victory.

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Posted on November 24, 2014

By Jim Coffman and Steve Rhodes

On a roll. Plus: The Game Chicago Going Under; The Ultimate Theo-Era Cubs Headline; Still Okay To Take Blackhawks For Granted; and Jimmy The Butler.

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Posted on November 21, 2014

By Mike Luce

It’s Week 13, a moment late in the college football season when nearly all the big-time programs bake in a Directional Creampuff before taking the plunge into the final game or two of the regular season and conference championships.
The SEC is especially notorious for scheduling pushovers: Alabama plays Western Carolina, Auburn faces Samford, Florida vs. Eastern Kentucky, and so on.
The rest of the country bemoans the SEC strategy of mapping out the season, but to us it just seems like smart football.
Why put your season at risk the week before a huge rivalry game like the Iron Bowl (‘Bama-Auburn) or Egg Bowl (Mississippi-Mississippi State) when you can slot in the likes of Charleston Southern and avoid a classic “trap game” scenario?

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Posted on November 21, 2014

By Carl Mohrbacher

Size Matters
Utilizing such exotic tools as human eyes and tape measures, Bears offensive coordinator Aaron Kromer discovered what he believed to be an edge during a late Saturday night film session, with a big assist from the Internet.
“Wait a minute,” muttered Kromer to himself as he watched a video titled ‘Inside The Film Room With Coach Zimmer’ on the website ‘vikings.com.’
The video that caught Kromer’s attention detailed the match-up problems that Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery present to opposing defense.
“We have two very tall men playing wide receiver . . . we have tall men . . . playing wide receiver!!!!”
Kromer quickly dialed head coach Marc Trestman.

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Posted on November 20, 2014

By Jim Coffman

The Bears threw down the gauntlet. They were determined to make a statement on Sunday and there was no way the Vikings would keep them from firing the critical first shot in the war that will define the rest of their season.
When the local team pulled out a 21-13 victory, it made sure that going forward, everyone understands that the Bears will not just stand idly by and let Minnesota take control of third place in the NFC North. They are going to fight for that spot like there is no tomorrow.

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Posted on November 17, 2014

By Jim Coffman and Steve Rhodes

The Bartman Bears. Plus: Derrick Rose Is Not A Fully Formed Human; The Blackhawks In The Cover 2; and Outlawing Sports Gambling Is Un-American, And We’re Not Going To Sit Here And Listen To You Badmouth The United States Of America.

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Posted on November 14, 2014