Chicago -
By Thomas Chambers
If your idea of the perfect gift is a shiny package of absurdities with a couple of angels ribboned, like candy canes, on the outside, this week has been a most satisfying early Christmas.
I’ll let Perry White handle this one. OY!
Closer to the beat, there was this one.
Really, they both boil down to this.
Posted on November 29, 2012
By Carl Mohrbacher
Male Bag
Last week, we touched on a concept deemed controversial by some; a variation of football that consists primarily of dozens of men getting raped for sport. As a result, my Beachwood inbox enjoyed what can be tactfully deemed “generous amounts of feedback.”
By which I actually mean, 450 gigabytes worth of nude photo e-mail attachments.
All of them featuring man parts.
Score.
Posted on November 29, 2012
By Roger Wallenstein
It was the voice that I remember. Very steady. No high or low pitches. A hint of New York and exceptionally clear, reasonable and amazingly friendly. It was as though Marvin Miller was seated in my living room, chatting about the labor issues that required the ballplayers’ and owners’ attention.
Of course, Miller, who died at 95 this week, wasn’t in my home. The year was 1971, and the White Sox’s flagship radio station was none other than WEAW-AM in Evanston. I was the post-game host because my pal Tom thought it would be a good idea to buy the time at the cost of a dollar per minute.
Let’s say this was not the wisest of business decisions, but we had fun.
Posted on November 28, 2012
By Dan O’Shea
At the beginning of this season, three running backs sat atop the fantasy draft heap, but only one of them has stayed there. Arian Foster has brought a better return on investment than either of the other two top-tier RBs, Ray Rice and LeSean McCoy.
Foster’s Week 12 performance for 102 yards rushing and 2 TDs wasn’t the biggest fantasy performance of the week, and often this year Foster hasn’t been the top scorer in a given week. But he has been the picture of dependability, the No. 2-ranked fantasy player overall behind Robert Griffin III (RG3 being this year’s shocker, of course)
Foster is not even the top RB in rushing yards, a distinction that belongs to the resurgent Adrian Peterson, who has run for 1,236 yards to Foster’s 1,064. Where Foster is better than anyone else is in the scoring department, with 14 TDs overall.
Posted on November 28, 2012
Brewing Up A Storm
The Cubs have made former Milwaukee Brewer slugger (and Beachwood favorite) Rob Deer their assistant batting coach. Rob Deer? Was he ever known to be a student of hitting?
From Wikipedia:
“He holds the dubious honor of having the lowest official batting average while still qualifying for the batting title when he batted .179 in 1991. He is the only player since 1910 to have a batting average less than .220 in at least 400 at-bats in at least four seasons.”
So Cub.
“Deer has also gained some notoriety among studiers of baseball statistics due to his propensity for the Three True Outcomes (defined as a strikeout, home run, or bases on balls.) Because of his ability to hit home runs and take walks, he remained a moderately valuable player despite his complete inability to hit for average, as evidenced by his career 17.0 Wins Over Replacement.”
So Theo.
Plus, he’s got the Viz-U-Bat, the inevitable Red Sox connection, and he worked under Cubs manager Dale Sveum when Sveum was the hitting coach in Milwaukee. Presto!
Let’s take a look.
Posted on November 27, 2012
By Jim Coffman
If ever a fan sought to divine the difference between an elite quarterback and the mediocre majority in a relatively brief period of time, he or she could review the video record of the Bears’ last two games.
More than anything, the difference is pinpoint passing. Right off the bat on Sunday during the Bears’ bounce-back 28-10 victory over the Vikings, Jay Cutler completed two passes – one to Earl Bennett to convert a third down, and one to Kellen Davis to take the ball down to the goal line – that illustrated the difference.
Posted on November 26, 2012
By Carl Mohrbacher
Mike Luce, our man on campus, is on campus this week. He will return next week.
Have those of us who, um, are not very fond of Notre Dame ever wanted USC to win a game more badly than today?
Have so many spiteful dreams ever rested on the shoulders of a freshman quarterback named Max?
Are Notre Dame players really so eager for this game that they are eating noisily?
Do we possibly despise Lane Kiffin enough to root for a tie? (Yes and no.)
And is this true?
Posted on November 24, 2012
By Carl Mohrbacher
Quit Yer Grinnin’ And Drop Yer Lineman
I suppose if this whole “blocking” thing doesn’t work out, Gabe Carimi can always go back to working the pole over at Package Deal.
By day he stands with Israel, but by night he stands at attention . . . in the pants!
Yeeeeow!!!
Loosen up those purse strings because his “A” gap is open for business aaaaaannd pleasure, ha HA!
C’mon down to stage three and say hello to Man-ischewitz!
Posted on November 22, 2012
By Dan O’Shea
I know you’re all anxious to proceed with the Pope’s Nose Awards, our annual Fantasy Fix Thanksgiving tradition, but first a quick recap of a fairly eventful week in fantasy football.
Week 11 saw another historic fantasy performance in the form of Texans QB Matt Schaub, who had 527 yards passing and five TDs, good for 52 points or more in many Yahoo! scoring formats. I was lucky enough to have Schaub active in a two-QB league, but in some one-QB leagues, that record performance probably was left on the bench.
It was hard to see this one coming. Though Schaub is somewhat of a hidden gem – very effective at getting at least 15 fantasy points per week despite Houston’s RB-oriented approach – Week 11 was more than anyone could have expected. I don’t expect it to happen again, but he could certainly be a solid starter the rest of the way if the QB position has been a problem for you.
Posted on November 21, 2012
By Jim Coffman
Listen to Jim Coffman talk Bears today with Rick Kogan at 2 p.m. on WBEZ’s The Afternoon Shift.
*
Don’t despair, Bears fans.
Sports commentators commit many crimes against humanity but their biggest mistake when it comes to pro football is making too much of individual games.
It is partly understandable; there is almost always a week between games and you have to fill the programming and sports pages with something during those times.
But if the parity-drenched NFL has taught us anything in the past few years, it is that teams can be terrible for a couple games or even a sizable stretch of the season and still come back and win in the end.
Just last season, a truly mediocre Giants team barely squeaked into the playoffs at 9-7 and promptly got on a roll that ended with them hoisting the Lombardi Trophy in Indianapolis.
So just because the Bears totally stunk it up by the Bay last night in a 32-7 loss in the battle of the backup quarterbacks doesn’t mean the season has come to an end.
Posted on November 20, 2012
