Chicago -
From The Beachwood Tweetdeck
One in a series.
1. Did I steer u wrong tonight? about 6 hours ago from txt
2. Take your cues from the Universe, it rules us all . . . 5:51 PM Aug 29th from txt
3. Was lucky enough to see Adam Goldstein perform and we love you brother, RIP DJ AM . . . 3:03 PM Aug 29th from txt
4. Can someone ask Diddy 4 me? 5:45 PM Aug 28th from txt
5. Can u wear cream after Labor day? 5:41 PM Aug 28th from txt
Posted on August 31, 2009
By Patty Hunter
This week I learned that school is not the only place you can expand your vocabulary.
A young lady came in with two others and sat at my table. When I walked over to greet them, it took everything in me not to gape at her almost entirely exposed bosom; her neckline was more like a belly button line because of how low cut it was and it was open almost as wide on the sides. I didn’t even know it was legal to wear those kind of shirts outside of a strip club.
The bartender that night was walking back behind the bar when he noticed the free show. I laughed as I watched him struggle to not stare. He told me that’s what you call a “neck-breaker.” Apparently, when there’s something about a girl that makes you whip your head around to get a second look, she’s called a neck-breaker.
Posted on August 27, 2009
By The Beachwood Celebrity Feud Bureau
Jennifer Aniston is reportedly pissed off that she lost some dude named Bradley Cooper to Renee Zellweger, complaining to friends that she doesn’t see what Zellweger has that she doesn’t. We do.
* An Oscar.
* That cute kid Ray.
* She won’t drag you to dinner at the Cox-Arquette household.
Posted on August 25, 2009
By The Federal Citizen Information Center
1. ALCOHOL AND YOUR KIDS – THE TWO DON’T MIX
Talking with your kids about alcohol can be a challenge – you may feel nervous and fidgety and your kids might roll their eyes and wish they were somewhere else. Get some help with this important conversation with free online publications from the Century Council and the Federal Citizen Information Center.
Studies have shown that kids can start drinking as early as 12-years-old. More than 10% of 13- and 14-year-olds say they’ve tried alcohol in the past month. For this reason, the online publications What You Don’t “No” Can Hurt You and How to Talk to Your Adolescent About Alcohol are both aimed at younger kids in grade school to prepare them for when they get older.
Posted on August 24, 2009
Back to the future. And vice versa.
–
h/t: Michael O’Connor
Posted on August 21, 2009
By Patty Hunter
Stand with me now and close your eyes. Absorb the sound of water rushing by. Imagine the mighty river we must be near. The beautiful, tree-laden banks. Perhaps a sandy beach. And yes, we must be near, because you can feel the river lapping at your shoes. Really, your feet are getting wet. And what’s that smell? That’s not suntan lotion and Mai Tais . . . it’s . . . shit. For real.
Water from the alley – and our sewage system – is flooding the restaurant, thanks to a broken drainage system. This isn’t the first time. It usually starts out back and stops right at the doorway that separates the alley from the restaurant. This time, though, it’s creeping closer and closer to the dining room.
Posted on August 20, 2009
By Patty Hunter
My experience going out to eat has completely changed since I began working in restaurants. While I was not as clueless as most, I would occasionally make the mistake of asking the overworked bussers for refills. Or I would leave everything wherever it fell and walk out blissfully unaware.
Things have changed.
I began my restaurant experience as a host. I would seat the tables and manage the wait list. I began to understand the flow of a restaurant and how important it was to have teamwork. Then I began bussing. I had a whole new perspective on how dirty and needy people were. After cleaning up a bloody syringe and having someone assume I couldn’t speak English because I was a busser, I decided it was maybe a good time to move on. From then on, I cleaned up any mess I made, placed the pepper shaker back in its proper place and was not irritated if I did not get a water refill right away. I still do this. It has stuck with me for almost five years.
Posted on August 13, 2009
By J.J. Tindall
SHANGRI-LA SHATTERED
Look: tatters. Tattered
concrete coat upon
steel-rod sticks.
Leave it shattered,
the shuttered Shangri-La Hotel,
ersatz Shamabala
Posted on August 11, 2009
By Jerome Haller
During a recent Sunday night, I remarked to the Nice Cashier that the morning employee who relieved her had been showing up on time for a change. Of course, the tardiness promptly immediately resumed. On Monday morning, the Nice Cashier had to work overtime before returning home to her kids. “You jinxed it,” she said to me during a lull that night.
Yes. Yes I did.
Thus chastened, I didn’t even blink when an elderly woman walked in the store while pushing a cart. A regular with a stooped back, she wore a blue blouse and dirty white pants. Her body odor wafted in the air.
Posted on August 7, 2009
By Patty Hunter
Our busy season is almost over. Families have spent their vacation money and are now saving up to buy new school supplies and autumn clothing. Does this mean they are cutting back on eating out? No, they’re just tipping less.
Posted on August 6, 2009
