By Marty Gangler
As the Chicago Cubs begin another season I’d like to ask all fans a question. How’s your mouth? Do you still have that bad taste in it? And as you probably do, does it still have that really sour milk tang to it? It took me a good 3 months before I could even talk about the ’08 playoffs but even now I still can’t get that really bad “way too long after the expiration date” tongue funk out of my mouth. And you know what? It’s not going to go away until October. The Cubs embark on the most meaningless regular season in the history of the franchise. Because they could win 116 regular games and it wouldn’t matter because you mouth will still be polluted. Sure they tried to help your dirty mouth with the acqusitions of Kevin Gregg and Milton Bradley but they’re weak breath mints in a pewtrid stanking mouth filled with rotting bits of hot dog and broken dreams.
I’m not saying that this season won’t be fun. Bradley, Big Z and Uncle Lou should provide plenty-o-fun at the old ballpark. Let’s not forget these guys are nuts. As well as seeing how Little Mike Fontenot does at second base and what happens with newly christened Cub savior Micah Hoffpauir. Plus there’s the whole thing about how Soriano can’t field and Fukudome can’t hit. That’s fun. So there will be some things to talk about but it all doesn’t mean a hill a beans a difference until October gets close. So let’s enjoy these guys until it’s time to see if they learned anything since last year, we have six months until it matters.
Posted on April 6, 2009