Chicago -
By Jim Coffman and Steve Rhodes
Bears face Brock Osweiler and Aaron Rodgers in two-game, five-day stretch. Plus: The NFL Stinks; The Slausonator; Osweiler Better Than Clausen, Fales; Packers Doom Spiral; Bulls Holding Serve; Blackhawks Gellin’ Like Thornton Melon; and Cubs Hat Trick.
Posted on November 20, 2015
By The Harlem Globetrotters
Founded in Chicago in 1926, the Harlem Globetrotters are preparing for an epic celebration tour during their 90th year. In recent months:
1. The team had an audience with the Pope.
Posted on November 20, 2015
By Carl Mohrbacher
We’re No. 16! We’re No. 16!
As I said a few weeks back, the Bears are the best of the worst teams in the NFL.
Don’t believe me? Then you can talk to the 16-fingered foam hand.
Posted on November 18, 2015
By Dan O’Shea
For the second week in a row, I’m moved to eat crow served up by a Chicago Bear. Last week, the chef was Alshon Jeffery, who I maligned after he sat for five straight weeks with mysterious injuries. This week, it’s none other than Jay Cutler.
At the beginning of the season, I wrote up a series of predictions, most of which have turned out to be wildly off-base (check out what I said about Jeffery back then) and one or two which were difficult to get wrong (see Tom Brady).
For my last one on the list, I simply predicted Cutler would not be starting for the Bears by the end of the season
Posted on November 18, 2015
By Eric Emery
Dear Football,
When you awake this morning, I’ll be gone.
Damn it, Football. It was a great run. Sometime in 1979, I professed my love for you. After 36 years of love, I need to be true to you and to me. I am no longer in love with you. Let me be more honest. I don’t even love you like a good friend. In fact, I really hate your guts. Football, I need you out of my life.
Posted on November 17, 2015
By Steve Rhodes
Now that was a victory!
After eeking out three wins against crappy teams this season by less than a cumulative touchdown to go with their four predictable losses, the Bears finally looked like a professional football team Sunday in stomping all over a mediocre St. Louis Rams team having a very bad day.
And while the sad performance of said opponent would usually call for tempering any enthusiasm about a Bears victory, this time they did what a good team does and stepped on the Rams’ neck. Bravo.
Posted on November 16, 2015
By Last Week Tonight
The sports media industrial complex that invests, promotes and discusses daily fantasy sports has more conflicts of interest than a metaphor in a whorehouse.
Plus: “Daily fantasy sports sites claim they are not gambling enterprises, but they seem awfully . . . gamblish. If only their ads were more truthful.”
Such as the ones provided in this journalistically inspiring ultimate takedown.
Posted on November 16, 2015
By Jim Coffman and Steve Rhodes
Kill fanboy groupthink! Plus: Fight The Bulls Narratives!; Partisan Sports-Watching; Blackhawks Still Trying To Find A Narrative!; and The Hottish Stove League.
Posted on November 13, 2015
By Dan O’Shea
Since I questioned the fantasy value of Alshon Jeffery a few weeks ago, I feel the need to follow up now and give credit where it’s due: Jeffery has been nothing short of awesome since returning to regular play three weeks ago.
In that span, he’s had outings with receiving yard totals of 147 yards, 116 yards, and most recently on Monday night, 151 yards. Any concerns about lingering injury effects or Jeffery’s ability to handle No. 1 receiver status have fallen away.
The most amazing part is that he probably still isn’t completely in synch with Jay Cutler – he made a couple moves Monday night that were just poor play and reaction on his part, and one of them resulted in a pick-six. Imagine what happens when he shakes off more of this mental rust. He could have a 200-yard game before the season is done.
So, good for you if you kept the faith and kept him on your fantasy team, and even better for you if you managed to obtain him in a buy-low trade. Right now, I’m just glad the one trade offer I did package him in weeks ago was rejected.
Posted on November 12, 2015
By Carl Mohrbacher
Pre-Game
Me: Ugh. Monday night game. Guess we should cut down on the sauce. Got work tomorrow.
Mrs. Wifey: Suck it up dude. If Jon Gruden says “this guy” before one more dude’s name, we have to drink a bottle of wine.
Me: One of these day’s he’s going to call Lisa Salters “this guy Lisa,” and on that day we’ll do heroin. But tonight, I better change the channel, what with the mortgage and all. If we get started now . . .
Mrs. Wifey (opening a bottle of wine): Oh, you don’t like your job that much (pours two glasses). And Gruden just called Mike Tirico “this guy Mike.” Bottoms up.
Posted on November 12, 2015
