By The Onion
“Take a look inside the dorms, restaurants, and gymnasiums where these modern day gods and goddesses go crazy on each other’s perfect bodies. All these athletes are hot, horny and ready to go.”
Posted on February 14, 2014
Fantasy Fix: Baseball Draft Guide Part 2 – 1B Logjam, 2B Drought
By Dan O’Shea
As usual, there’s a glut of fantasy talent at 1B this year, with much of the top 10 close enough you can put them in almost any order. Maybe that’s what has inspired me to take a big gamble with my rankings and put an up-and-comer ahead of a couple of established stars.
At 2B, there is such a huge fall-off in value after the first two spots, you might just want to skip to No. 9, and figure out how many rounds you want to let pass before to take a chance on him.
Here we go:
Posted on February 12, 2014
Chicago 2016!
A Thought Experiment
Just a reminder:
Unlike Sochi, Chicago didn’t even come close to winning its Olympic bid.
But if it had . . .
Posted on February 11, 2014
SportsMonday: Mediocre Bulls Just Starting
By Jim Coffman
Any win on the road is a good win, a Bulls fan tells himself.
Even one like Sunday’s against a Laker team that wasn’t that good to begin with this season and then added and lost Kobe Bryant to injury a month-and-a-half ago and has done without Pau Gasol for its last four games.
Actually, despite a difficult fourth quarter, this win was better than good because it brought the Bulls back to break even. And that will do just fine for now.
Posted on February 10, 2014
Is Martellus Bennett The Most Interesting Man In Chicago?
Let’s Consult Twitter
Black Unicorn, Orange Dino, Renaissance Rapper. He might even come to your kid’s birthday party.
*
“@kyleu94: @MartysaurusRex who is ur favorite rapper??” Dylan Dylan Dylan Dylan Dylan.
— Martellus Bennett (@MartysaurusRex) January 24, 2014
*
I was in the NBA draft my senior year of HS.
— Martellus Bennett (@MartysaurusRex) January 24, 2014
*
“@Jonwithoutthe_H: @MartysaurusRex What team would you want to play for if you had the chance?” Gryffindor Quidditch.
— Martellus Bennett (@MartysaurusRex) January 24, 2014
Posted on February 7, 2014
Dislike: Friday Night Tykes
By i9 Sports
I have a great story for you about a major drama playing out right here in local youth sports leagues. On one side – a controversial new reality show – Friday Night Tykes which is gaining national and local attention because it glorifies extreme pressure on kids to win at all costs. On the other side – a local youth sports league which goes against the current by returning youth sports to its roots with the focus on fun and good sportsmanship.
i9 Sports, the first and fastest growing youth sports league franchise, with leagues in our area, offers an experience that’s COMPLETELY OPPOSITE of the violence and viciousness of the Esquire Network’s new hit reality show – Friday Night Tykes. The show features a young football team bullied by coaches to crush, destroy and win at all costs – despite who gets hurt. i9 Sports focuses on kids having fun and the lifelong lessons of teamwork (reasons parents in our area choose the i9 Sports Experience over the yelling, bullying and rough play you see on this divisive show.)
Posted on February 6, 2014
Fantasy Fix: Baseball Draft Guide Part 1 – The Pitchers And Catchers Report Report
By Dan O’Shea
The NFL postseason could barely hold my interest this year. Maybe I’ve finally been trained by fantasy football to believe the season is really supposed to end around late December. Since Christmas, I could do nothing but think about baseball.
So, if it seems like I’ve overthought my fantasy baseball draft guide this year, it is probably because I have. The result will either be an unbelievably prescient spot-on forecast, or an extremely thoughtful miss.
Since pitchers and catchers are due to report to most teams’ spring training facilities in about 10 days, let’s start there with our 2014 Fantasy Fix Fantasy Baseball Draft Guide.
Posted on February 5, 2014
Sochi Preview: Welcome To The Russian Riviera
By AP
The most expensive Games ever are being held in a subtropical resort surrounded by conflict zones and riddled with Chicago-style corruption writ large. Get ready for 98 events in three weeks, endless jingoism and world-class athletic feats.
1. Sun ‘N’ Fun.
Posted on February 4, 2014
SportsMonday: Chicago’s Basketball Bounty
By Jim Coffman
Have you had your fill of Super Bowl coverage? I thought so.
And now for something completely different . . .
We are in the midst of the greatest cluster of basketball talent to ever come out of Chicago. And the leading members of the group both starred in weekend productions. These young men are all the figurative younger brothers of Derrick Rose, who graduated from Simeon in 2007, went on to play for coach John Calipari at Memphis for a year and then was the first overall pick in the 2008 NBA draft. Say what you will about his career prospects now after two major knee injuries, but the fact will always remain that Rose won the Most Valuable Player award at age 22 in 2011, becoming the youngest player ever to do so.
Posted on February 3, 2014
Tweeting The Super Bowl Suckage
By Steve Rhodes
I predicted Denver 27-25, so when Seattle got that safety to start the game I felt really smart. That didn’t last long. Also, Radio Shack had the best commercial, even though Radio Shack sucks. Finally, what a horrid display of everything putrid about America we just saw.
Breaking: Punxsutawney Roger sees shadow; six more hours of Super Bowl pregame.
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) February 2, 2014
Posted on February 3, 2014