By Pat Bataillon

America’s Worst Driver: Chicago aired the other night. It’s shows like these that made me cancel cable.
The above statement should be the entirety of this column but that isn’t any fun. What is fun is the ending of this particular show. The beginning and middle are just like every other reality television show but in the end a car is destroyed by a monster truck. For what it’s worth, every reality show that brings nothing to to the table for 40-some minutes should all do us a favor and end with a monster truck running over a contestant’s car. The reaction is worth the wait.
So here’s how it goes:

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Posted on March 31, 2010

By Thomas Chambers

Like Sugar Bombs being “part of a nutritious breakfast” or government EPA-rated mileage at 23 city/31 highway, things are usually not as they appear.
I simply don’t believe Churchill Downs Inc. (CDI) is the benevolent caretaker of horse racing and America’s biggest racing event. And I don’t believe reality television has much to do with reality. Instead, it’s a crass capitalization on the fact that Americans have an innate desire to believe what they see on television and in newspapers.
I didn’t make much inner progress on these things after watching the latest installment of CBS’s Undercover Boss, where the geek head of CDI went “undercover” to experience the “lowest” jobs in the company. You know, the other side of the tracks. The only bit of reality they shoot for and hit is that the employees they meet have eminently more grease in their elbows, work ethic in their brains and pride in their souls than any cookie-cutter, interchangeable MBA above them.

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Posted on March 18, 2010

By The Beachwood Faux DIY Affairs DeskIf you can afford it.
2 p.m.: Turf War
3 p.m.: 10 Grand in Your Hand
3:30 p.m.: Deconstruction
4 p.m.: Yard Crashers
4:30 p.m.: Yard Crashers
5 p.m.: Sweat Equity

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Posted on March 15, 2010

By Scott Buckner

NBC deserves to die. Today.
Just when you thought NBC couldn’t screw up its Winter Olympics coverage any more than it already had, the network decided to go for broke Sunday night and sprint across the crash-and-burn finish line by interrupting the contemporary music portion of the closing Olympic ceremonies for a Jerry Seinfeld abomination called The Marriage Ref and then air the portion it bumped an hour later, following the local news.
If we weren’t convinced before, we’re convinced now that NBC is the only network on the planet that wouldn’t just tape-delay the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, it would find a way to cut away from the really crucial part where The Savior is telling Christians how to save themselves and avoid the rising dead so it could squeeze in four more minutes of commercials.

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Posted on March 1, 2010