By Dan O’Shea

Yao Ming and Greg Oden don’t have much in common – other than being storybook giants come to life, of course. Though Yao and Oden both play center, they play vastly different games, Yao being an artist with a shooting touch and Oden following the more typical recent model of bringing rebound and shot-block thunder from above.
Yet, when all is said and done, both may be remembered for having that particular star-crossed quality: Incredibly talented, frequently injured. Yao is out this year after foot surgery, and for all his notoriety hasn’t played a full season in the last six years. Oden just suffered a likely season-ending knee injury after a very promising first month in which he led the NBA in blocks. His career games-played tally reads like this:
Season 1: 0 GP
Season 2: 61 GP (out of an 82-game season)
Season 3: 21 GP
In those 21 games, Oden mostly showed us what we thought in pre-season; that he would play well above his late-round ranking. But, another season is lost. I don’t know where Yao will end up being ranked next pre-season, but Oden is sure to fall back again into 10th or 11th round territory. Everything about him will tell you to take the leap of faith, but you may have to do it expecting only a half season of returns.
The injuries to Yao and Oden, and a decline in performance by other supposed star centers like Pau Gasol, Dwight Howard and Al Jefferson may have left your fantasy team middling without an effective man in the middle. Here’s a few hot performers who have been picking up the slack – and what you should do with them – in this week’s Fantasy Fix Action Ratings:

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Posted on December 9, 2009

By The Beachwood Ricketts Affairs Desk
The Cubs recently announced a new “platinum” level pricing tier to go along with its gold, silver and bronze tiers. The Beachwood has learned that the Cubs are also plutonium category to its pricing plan to capture even more dollars. The Plutonium Plan would consist of box seats behind the Cubs dugout for $1,000 a game plus the following perks:
* Get to play second base for one inning.
* Get to perform one double-switch per game.
* You can bring the farm animal of your choice to sit with you.
* Upon your death someone can sprinkle your ashes on the field.
* Your index finger will be photographed, blown up, and become the new official we’re #1 foam finger template.

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Posted on December 8, 2009

By Jim Coffman
If Jim Hendry had to give away fan favorite Jake Fox to subtract Aaron Miles’s lousy contract from the payroll, just think of what teams are demanding from the Cubs for the favor of removing Milton Bradley from the roster. It can’t be anything short of Derrek Lee, can it? And how did this deal with the Athletics pass just about completely under the local sports commentary radar last week? I suppose new owner Tom Ricketts is still on a honeymoon of sorts but this was a terrible trade on its face and it bodes ill for the rest of the Cubs off-season.

Ofman: Bears still stink

In other words, as bad as the Bears season has been, the Cubs off-season might end up worse.
Yes I know the Cubs picked up forgettable Jeff Gray, a righty reliever, and a couple prospects, but what they really gained was $1.7 million worth of salary relief. Of course even that isn’t very good, what with Miles being owed more than $2 million next year as part of the unfathomable two-year contract GM Jim Hendry lavished on him before last season.
In other words, Fox, who has plenty of potential as a designated hitter and who could end up being a good enough corner infielder (he never had a real chance to prove himself with the Cubs on a day-to-day basis), wasn’t enough for A’s general manager Billy Beane. Beane had to have “cash considerations” as well. And Hendry forked it over. Fox finished with 11 homers and 44 RBI in just over 200 at-bats for the Cubs last year. His on-base percentage (.311) wasn’t good enough but we’ll never know (barring another trade) what he could have done in the National League with consistent at-bats. Late in the season, manager Lou Piniella didn’t hide the fact that he regretted not giving Fox the every day shot at third base when Aramis Ramirez was out for a month-plus with the shoulder injury.

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Posted on December 7, 2009

By George Ofman
Tell me you didn’t find the Bears-Rams game entertaining? Seriously, what else were you watching, Fareed Zakaria GPS on CNN? Wasn’t the idea of one bad team (yours) playing another bad team (much worse) just a tad alluring?
You know why you were watching. It was for the same reason I was and many others were; to see if the Bears would actually lose.

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Posted on December 7, 2009

By Mike Luce
Have we all recovered from the Turkey Day festivities? Are we up or down? I’m not talking weight or waistlines here, people. How’s your portfolio, if you will? Take stock now, because the season will be over before you can say “Troy-Bilt Chipper/Shredder Bowl.”
Here at the College Football Report, we dabbled over the Thanksgiving holiday with a bit of cranberry sauce (not our traditional favorite), moderate alcohol intake (not something we’re known for – the moderate part – and note, we had limited success) and NFL wagering (for entertainment purposes only, of course).

SportsFriday: What Mister Ed Said: TrackNotes How you’ll know the Bears have reached rock bottom: The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report

Well, you might say we more than dabbled in the latter. Who here hit a three-game parlay on Thanksgiving? That’s right, you heard us.
Now, let’s get down to business. As the college football season draws to a close, we’re altering our publishing schedule a bit. From here on out, we’ll have one column every Friday instead of the heretofore Tuesday-Thursday combo. We recognize that we’ll have to pack two columns’ worth of insight, dry humor, and obscure references into 2,000 words (give or take.) But we can do it. We have faith.
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Week 14 marks the start of college football’s second season – and no, we don’t mean the conference championships. Layoff Season begins this week. (For now, let’s consider the year split up into the following parts: Creampuff Season, Conference Season, Layoff Season, Also-Ran Bowls, Vaguely Interesting Bowls, Legitimately Intriguing Bowls, the BCS Games, and Bowls You Didn’t Know About Because They Come After the BCS Championship. Clear? Good.) Because every other college football column will use it, let’s just go ahead and get it out of the way – the coaching carousel is spinning. There, we said it.
Most teams wrapped up the regular last week, and will now feel free to cut free some dead weight. The Notre Dame program, for example, is looking about 400 pounds lighter nowadays. We observed a weighty moment of silence last week for the passing of Coach Weis. See you in the buffet line, Charlie.
Now let’s do our best Frank Costello impersonation and leave a card for the rest of the dearly departed.

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Posted on December 4, 2009

By Eric Emery
In past few weeks, more than one friend has said to me, “It must be fun writing the Kool-Aid Report this year.”
Actually, it’s not that much fun.
It’s more fun when the Bears get dominated in a Super Bowl or they crap themselves in Week 17 and miss the playoffs. It doesn’t feel rewarding to make fun of a team this close to hitting rock bottom.
And if the Bears lose to the Rams this week, rock bottom will be reached. Even I don’t think the Bears are that bad. But even if they beat the Rams keep your eyes out for these other signs that rock bottom has been found.

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Posted on December 4, 2009

By Thomas Chambers

If you really analyze it, Mister Ed did not get along with Wilbur Post. He barely suffered the architect, and it was usually with good reason. Wilbur was pretty thin in the brains department and never let Ed have any fun.
I’m not sure who besides us mucking horseplayers care whether Rachel Alexandra or Zenyatta is named horse of the year in the Eclipse Award voting for 2009, but I’m willing to predict that this story may spill at least a little bit into the mainstream media. I would love to hear what Zenyatta and Rachel think about the whole thing, and I bet it would center around something like “Let’s race, and find out who’s better.”
But as John Wayne once famously said, this thing is getting ri-goddamn-diculous.

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Posted on December 4, 2009

By George Ofman
So much has been said and written about Tiger Woods the last several days. But more should be discussed about the raving maniac who plays for the defending world champions.
Ron Artest is nuts. Very nuts. And dangerous. And he needs to be scolded. Seriously scolded.
I’ve had enough of Tiger for one week so let’s move onto to this unbalanced act who actually still plays for the Los Angeles Lakers. Comparisons to Dennis Rodman are acceptable but only after a swig of Hennessy.

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Posted on December 3, 2009

By Dan O’Shea
The fantasy football season is down, with Week 13 of the NFL season the final week before playoffs begin in most fantasy leagues. If you’re on the bubble, is there anyone you can pick up at this late stage to help you make that last-minute push?
You might be tempted to go for whoever is still available from the NFL’s two unbeaten teams, New Orleans and Indianapolis. The problem there, however, is that those teams do such a good job of spreading the ball around that any wide receivers, running backs and tight ends still available on the waiver wire are not likely to get more than a few touches to do something worthwhile.
A better play is to follow the injuries to key players throughout the league – of which there have been many in the last couple of weeks – and figure out who’s in line to benefit. Bewared, though, that this can also be risky if a team changes its game plan after an injury to a starter at a key position. Here are a few players in our Fantasy Fix Action Ratings system that are likely to be hot Week 13 pick-ups.

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Posted on December 2, 2009

By The Beachwood Island Affairs Desk
Lovie Smith vs. Lovie Howell.
Lovie Smith: Lost at sea on six-game schedule.
Lovie Howell: Lost at sea on seven-hour cruise.
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Lovie Smith: Gets off the bus running.
Lovie Howell: Gets out of her limo shopping.
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Lovie Smith: Every week is another horrible showing.
Lovie Howell: Every week is another horrible show.

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Posted on December 1, 2009