Getting Roland To Go

By Stephanie B. Goldberg

Things the cool kids can do to get Roland Burris to resign from the Senate.
1. Nancy Pelosi can have a party and not invite him.
2. Pat Leahy can trip him in the lunchroom.
3. Dianne Feldstein can sit in the back row and make belching noises whenever he talks.
4. Chris Dodd can hang a sign on his back saying “Ima Dork”.
5. Chuck Schumer can snap towels at him in the Senate locker room.
6. Frank Lautenberg can send him 30 pizzas.
7. Maria Cantwell can stand him up for the prom.

Posted on February 27, 2009

Burris Clergy Speaks With Forked Tongues

By Steve Rhodes

No sooner had Sen. Dick Durbin called on Roland Burris to resign did this press release land in my e-mail inbox – and I’m sure the inboxes of reporters across the city, and maybe beyond. Let’s take a look.

ILLINOIS CLERGY SUPPORT U.S. SENATOR ROLAND BURRIS, DISAGREE WITH DURBIN, DECRY “DOUBLE STANDARD”

Strategic use of “U.S. Senator” to reinforce a level of status and privilege.

CHICAGO – Today, leaders within Illinois clergy under the auspices of Clergy Speaks Interdenominational, a wide-reaching association of predominantly African-American churches in Chicago; the Illinois Faith-Based Association; the Concerned Clergy of Illinois, a statewide, faith-based association representing thousands of churches; and, the Broadcast Ministers Alliance, released the following statement on behalf of its membership regarding U.S. Senator Roland Burris:
“Clergy representing a broad-cross section of Illinois voters have met with Sen. Roland Burris regarding his amended testimony to the Illinois Impeachment Committee and the political avalanche caused by its disclosure. We are confident Sen. Burris did nothing wrong and therefore we do not join the screeching voices calling for his resignation.

Strategic use of “screeching” voices to cast Burris critics as out-of-control reactionaries, rather than thoughtful persons who have presented rational analyses for why Burris must step down.

Posted on February 24, 2009

Burris Attacks On Media An Old Story

By Steve Rhodes

Beleaguered Roland Burris now says he will no longer take questions from the media, whom he accuses of misreporting the facts of his pursuit of a United States senate seat. He has not, to my knowledge, asked for a correction from anyone, nor specified what exactly has been misreported. But then, this is an old game that Roland is playing.
In April 1995, Cate Plys wrote a terrific 4,300-word story for the Reader about Roland’s relationship with media during his mayoral campaign that year. The piece ~~is behind the Reader’s firewall~~ can be found here; I will excerpt from it here generously. It was called “Biting The Hand,” and asked: “Did candidate Roland Burris deliberately dodge coverage just so he could complain he wasn’t getting any?”
Here we go.

Posted on February 19, 2009

The Political Dictionary

By David Rutter

To our readers:
You understand the Roland Burris fiasco, don’t you? Of course you do. You’re an average person. Me, too. Those of us not professionally embroiled in political office-holding or office-seeking understand what’s happening with relative clarity. It’s only those involved in the business of politics that seem befuddled. And isn’t Sen. Burris really Mister Magoo writ large?
It’s the oldest problem of all in human interaction. What do words mean? And why do their meanings vary from person to person so drastically? Even reporters lapse into this alternate universe – sort of Roland Burris meets Heroes meets Orwell. Here’s how to understand the world of political vocabulary adjustment without the concept of “just tell the truth” intruding on the process.

Posted on February 17, 2009

Suburban Decay

By Kiljoong Kim

The American Dream of the past century involved becoming middle class by moving to the suburbs with a house, garage, dog, children, and sense of safety with good school system. In fact, many scholars and policy analysts still make the city versus suburbs comparison with the underlying assumption that the city is poor and congested while suburbs are affluent and spacious. But just as many cities offer a great deal of economic and demographic diversity, not all suburbs are alike.
The most visible change in many municipalities is the composition of their residents. By and large, many towns are aging rapidly. For examples, while Blue Island’s total population grew only by 3.8 percent in seven years, those between 50 and 64 grew by 55.2 percent; Burbank’s growth of 5.3 percent is magnified for those between 60- and 64-year-olds, which grew by 55.3 percent, and Calumet City’s 6.7 percent growth included sizable growth of those over 80 years old (43 percent).

Posted on February 9, 2009

Ginsu Blago

By Erika Enk

Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich Sells Cutlery to Pay for His Legal Defense
First off, Gladys – may I call you Gladys? – I really want to thank you for inviting me, the former governor elected twice by the people of Illinois, into your home today. It’s an honor to have served you, and it will be an honor and a privilege to present to you what I believe is the planet’s finest cutlery. Now, I’m not here to sell you anything. I am here to help hardworking families like you to live a little piece of what I like to call “The American Dream.” I just want to tell you my side of the story, and why I believe in these knives. I am hoping that this morning you will consider what I would have to say, and who knows, you will give me a chance and believe in these knives, too.

Posted on February 2, 2009