What I Watched Last Night

I watched the Bears lose to the Dolphins and thought about how annoying ESPN and the local media would be pounding into my head that this was a good loss. You know, puncture the team's overconfidence to better prepare for a Super Bowl run. Let me tell you something: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A GOOD LOSS. If that were true the Cubs would be thought of as the greatest team ever. Furthermore, I'm now bracing myself for a week of "Not So Sexy Rexy" nonsense that is bound to dominate the media coverage this morning and throughout the week. Listen, Rex Grossman is like seafood: Most of the time it is really good but there are those few times that you wished you never got involved with it. Rex is comparable to a clam in my book. I have never liked Rex for one simple reason: He played football for Steve Spurrier. And Steve Spurrier is worse than Sean Hannity.

I also watched Desperate Housewives last night and saw two people get killed and two more get shot. There was no cheating going on, though, so it wasn't all that interesting of an episode. I think that I have gone over the criteria for ABC programming, but here is a refresher: Get some somewhat attractive people together, have them sleep with each other, then cheat on each other, then kill each other. I am felling cheated because ABC didn't deliver on their side of the deal. The deal is simple: Show me murder and adultery and I will keep lapping it up as quality drama. Murder alone is not enough. Last night, I was the one who was cheated on.

I finished out my day watching the Patriots/Indy game on NBC. If you caught a commercial break during this game you would have known that the Bears/Giants game is on NBC next week. They felt it necessary to remind me of that at least 20 times so I wouldn't forget. Oh wait someone's at the door . . . It's NBC reminding me the Bears are playing the Giants next week on NBC.

Finally, I got all caught up on my politics. Everything's fucked. For the 25 percent of Americans who are voting in the midterm elections this week, good luck. The last couple of times you really screwed the pooch. Please choose more wisely this time.

Finally, if I get to write on Wednesday that Rick Santorum lost in Pennsylvania, I will be in wonderful spirits the rest of the week. Santorum is worse than Spurrier.

Pat Bataillon is the Beachwood's resident TV watcher. Catch up on everything he's been watching in the What I Watched Last Night archive.