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What I Watched Last Night

I watched 50 First Dates last night and I think it has inhibited me from writing anything worth a damn. Once again, Drew Barrymore has caused talent to fail in her presence. I think I just figured out why she is popular! She surrounds herself with decent talent, brings them down to a level of greenhorn, and outshines them. That must be the only reason she keeps on getting work.

See here: Everyone has talent in one aspect or another, and when Barrymore is around it her lack of talent scares off all the other talent affected by her. Get it? It's like she is a talentless magnetic field pushing opposites away. North v. South for you scientists out there. North v. South for you Civil War buffs out there. North v. South for you Koreans out there. North v. South for you Carolinians and Dakotans out there. That is all I can come up with.

I look back on my last column about Barrymore and read this one so far and recall conversations about the first and wonder why I dislike this woman so much. I really don't know, I guess she just makes an easy target. I am sure that she is a really nice person and people like to be around her. It is just that I don't think she is in the right line of work. I can't think of anything to recommend that she do instead because she is like kryptonite to me. The wittiest part about this poor column is the North v. South part regarding Civil War buffs. I really could have taken off with that one. Instead, I went down the predictable path of other North v. South things.

That's the Barrymore Effect. Shredding talent within her presence, leaving men whimpering, and generally turning things to mush, including this column.

I'll try again tomorrow, when I've put Ms. Barrymore and her 50 First Dates behind me.


Posted on October 19, 2006

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