What I Watched Last Night

Five to eight guys sit around a table and look at each other with deadpan expressions on their faces. Smoke and alcohol are seeping into their clothes. Some of them are wearing hats and sunglasses. Money is exchanged. The atmosphere is tense. It's the World Series. Of Poker. And it's everywhere.

You can find poker programming on ESPN, Travel, Bravo, NBC, Spike, and Fox Sports. Even though poker is not a sport in the slightest, it is treated as such on all the sports channels. Kind of like NASCAR. (At least in NASCAR, the drivers are moving in a small circle instead of sitting in one.)

I just saw that Poker was on again last night; I find it as interesting as E! News and EXTRA! and ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT!

I can see how the game of poker is a thinking man's game, but I still do not see how that qualifies it to be seen a million times a week. Furthermore, it seems like every person that is playing in these tournaments has won several of the coveted bracelets. If they are so coveted, shouldn't they only give out one a year instead of, like, 30? I would rather watch chess or Scrabble or Chutes and Ladders.

Think about that. Maybe a tournament revolving around Candyland and, maybe, Sorry. Games that truly take no skill, just luck and see who wins. If you threw a little smack talk in there it would be priceless. "That's right bitch! I just sent your ass to the chocolate swamp! Loss of turn!" Or, "1,2,3, ooop, Sorry son, back to the beginning, just slid your ass off the line!" The possibilities are breathtaking.

I would always tune into pointless board game competition. It would be so entertaining. It would be a lot better than the sobering experience it is to watch poker. These old-school board games are already popular in a lot of bars - like Guthrie's Tavern on Lakewood and Addison, for example. Great little place, I like it there. They play good tunes and have good beer.

And games a bit more cutthroat than poker.

© 2006 - 2012, The Beachwood Media Company