A Message
From the
Station Manager
Chicago - Mar. 19, 2022
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Beachwood TV
Our monthly TV archive.
TV Towns
A Beachwood Guide.
And Then There's Maude
Our tribute to the debut season.
Favorite Channels
God TV
Gay TV
As Seen On TV
Television Without Pity
Museum Of Classic Chicago TV
TV Tropes

What I Watched Last Night

Imagine a man wearing a king's crown and a red satin robe pouring champagne on a purple shag rug in the foyer of his home.

Now imagine him doing so on TV. That's right, the second season of VH1's Flavor of Love, starring Flavor Flav, is underway.

Flavor of Love features women vying for his love and affection by going on dates with him and fighting with one another. At the end of every show he gives his large signature clocks to the women who will remain and move on to the next round; the woman who doesn't receive a clock must leave. At this point in the show Flavor Flav pours champagne on his purple shag rug and repeats the name of the lady that was banished from his home.

While the grand prize for winning this reality television show is to be with Flavor Flav, things obviously didn't work out with the lady who won last season, because, well this is the second season and Flav is still ostensibly single.

For those of you that do not know who Flavor Flav is don't feel out of the loop. It is better that you don't know. I wish I were so fortunate.

Flavor Flav was the hype man for the seminal rap group Public Enemy back in the early Nineties. A hype man is a person who screams things at crowds before and after musical performances to enthuse the audience. Flavor Flav did this during performances. He wore a large clock around his neck and pranced around the stage yelling incoherent babble into a microphone as the rappers rapped.

This hype man position requires only two things: An annoying appearance and a voice that can pierce the eardrum. Flavor Flav possesses both, and truly excelled at this position until Public Enemy stopped performing.

After the band broke up, Flavor Flav was lost to popular culture for good - or so we thought until VH1 hired him on to the cast of the psychologist's wet dream that is The Surreal Life. This show combines washed-up narcissistic "B" talent with booze to create an entirely new form of entertainment.

It was on this show that Flavor Flav fell in love with a tall Danish woman who was once married to Sly Stallone. The tall Danish woman and Flavor Flav starred in a spin-off show featuring Flavor courting the tall Danish woman. At the end of the season, the tall Danish woman broke Flav's heart and opted for a young Italian guy instead. Being out-of-work and a promising relationship forced Flavor Flav to use a reality show as a guiding light to love.

Love cannot be sought, though. It can only be stumbled upon.

Flavor Flav may be the king of his house and home but no one is the king of love, even with his red satin robe and large clock.


Posted on September 11, 2006

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!