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What I Watched Last Night

As of today, I am an out-of-the-closet Waterworld fan.

Yes, the acting is horrible and the dialogue is not exactly deserving of an Oscar. But the story is intriguing. And whenever Waterworld is on television, like it was last night on Bravo, I find myself watching it.

Maybe I like it so much because, according to recent reports, this is where the human species is heading.

It is only a matter of time before Manhattan goes underwater and Denver is the last great seaport before succumbing to Poseidon and his devilish plans.

Waterworld presents to us a vision of what Earth will be like when we run out of oil at the same time the Earth floods. Hello? It's practically a true story. Plus, Kevin Costner's character grows gills, which is almost enough to recommend any movie.

So here is the plot: Earth has flooded and the survivors are looking for land. The Good: Survivors holding together make-shift societies populated by the wanderers of the ocean. The Evil: a group of survivors on an oil tanker killing people looking for land. The Twist: the survivors don't realize that there is no land because the ice caps melted and everything is under water. The Happy Ending: Costner finds land. There you have it, a movie.

Waterworld is as predictable as a Disney movie. It was a flop, a laughingstock, and a disaster for Costner. Fortunately, he landed a role in The Postman. I have never made it through that entire movie but I bet it is just as great as Waterworld or even better.

See what else Pat Bataillon has been watching, in the complete collection of What I Watched Last Night.



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Posted on September 1, 2006


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