A Message
From the
Station Manager
Chicago - May. 30, 2020
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Beachwood TV
Our monthly TV archive.
TV Towns
A Beachwood Guide.
And Then There's Maude
Our tribute to the debut season.
Favorite Channels
God TV
Gay TV
As Seen On TV
Television Without Pity
Museum Of Classic Chicago TV
TV Tropes

What I Watched Last Night

I don't care what anyone says, TV brings you the world. It's not always pretty; in fact, rarely so. But there's hardly a better medium to capture the culture right now than a day and night of television, from Rosie O'Donnell on The View and the multiple layers of The Price Is Right (Bob Barker's longevity, the gaming of household consumerism, the total melding of editorial and advertising) to the voyeurism and moral judgements of Judge Judy and Dr. Phil to the latest news out of Iraq bumping up against reruns of M*A*S*H.

And that was just yesterday.

Actually, I didn't watch The View yesterday, but I'm one of those who came to start watching because of Rosie O'Donnell. She's a talented broadcaster. I was also strung along by the hope that any morning could be the one in which she would make Elisabeth Hasselbeck (born Elisabeth Grace Filarski) cry.

Here's what I did watch.


Looked up from my laptop when I heard an articulate, strong, fun, and insightful voice making sense about sports and discovered Jemele Hill, on what I thought was Cold Pizza but what I guess is now called ESPN First Take.

While discussing Barry Bonds, I heard Hill say something like "Great records happen to bad people" and I was hooked.


A real corker on Dr. Phil!

On addiction, of course. Those are the ones I love best. And let me tell you, Dr. Phil took it to the house!

To the mother who smoked pot with her son when he was something like 14, Dr. Phil said "You know how I can tell when you're lying? It's your lips. They move."


Saw someone from Americans United for Separation of Church and State on CNN saying we need less religion in our politics, not more. Sent me to my pile of news clippings for a front page story from the Tribune on Sunday I meant to comment on, "Democrats Find Religion On Campaign Trail." My comment: Please don't. It only makes you look weak and pandering. Be the party that stands up for the right principles and values, not the party of hypocritical televangelists posing as public officials.


Last city council meeting for a handful of ousted incumbents. Saw some vide on Chicago Tonight.

- Dorothy Tillman is proud of a 24-year-record without any blemishes. Without any blemishes! And invoking Dr. King in every sentence is the worst kind of unseemly exploitation of a dead hero who wouldn't like you much. I didn't know Dr. King, but I'm pretty sure he would have voted against you.

- Shirley Coleman yelled, "I'm free!" Didn't know you were being kept in the council against your will. Maybe you ought to refund all those contributions to your re-election campaign. Or maybe it was your contributors who enslaved you.

_ Burt Natarus looked back on 36 years in the council and came up with this insight: "I remember the old seats, they didn't fall apart. Now we have the new seats." He also said the horse diapers he's inextricably linked with proposing was actually all Jane Byrne.

Chicago Tonight then moved on to rising gas prices and I was outta there.


Alice reruns, Channel 38, Ion TV. Episode: Alice by Moonlight. "Alice's moonlighting job as a nightclub singer is taking its toll on her waitress job."


Dream Plan Track.

How 'bout Dream Plan Kill?



Hawk Harrelson is quite possibly the worst announcer in the history of humankind. My general rule on those rare occasions when I try to watch a White Sox game is that once he says "duck snort" I'm gone.

Announcers should not be hired the teams they cover, of course. Harrelson is a White Sox employee, and another good reason to hate the White Sox. It's just childish.

"2-0 good guys!"


"Duck snort" came at 7:24:44.

I couldn't hang in there, even to watch my Twins.


Buffy of Family Affair has died of "a massive drug overdose."

Didn't that happen a long time ago?

Yes. Thirty-one years ago.

This is The O'Reilly Factor, so not always right on the news.

Apparently the hook is Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan and the kooky kid stars of today.

Though the fates of Buffy and Jody, who was a crackhead for seven years, seems to indicate that child star problems are nothing new. But this is O'Reilly. Logic is heathen. (Though one thing many of his critics miss, like with Rush Limbaugh, is that he is truly a broadcasting talent. He may use that talent for evil, but still, that's why he's successful.)

"So it was wreckage across the board for the little children," O'Reilly says to his guest, Kathy Garver, who played older sister Cissy.

Garver now runs Genesis Creations Entertainment. CORRECTION: Garver can be reached through the Genesis Creations agency; she does not run it.

Garver suggested "pre-hab" to keep celebrity children and teen stars out of trouble. The rest of us already have pre-hab - it's called high school.


Why are investors jumping to Scottrade?

I'm not sure, but it's not because of their annoying commercials.


It's so funny that when Cubs fans notice the WGN cameras are on them, their first reaction is to raise their beer cups and go "Look! I'm drunk!"

I mean funny sad. Not the drunk part, just advertising it like a buffoon.


Lately I've come to watching really bad TV as a way to relieve stress and clear my mind of any sort of actual thinking. Kind of like yoga. Usually that means a few minutes here and there with Entertainment Tonight or Access Hollywood. It also means occasional tracking of American Idol.

At first, like many others, I just enjoyed watching the opening rounds to see how horrible the contestants were. Once the show was treated like a serious singing competition, I would bail.

But a couple of times I've hung in there for a whole season, and I've pretty much hung in there on this one. If Melinda Doolittle doesn't win, a grave injustice will be done. But more than that, I really want to express here and now how much I hate that frickin' Blake. He's a one-trick pony. And it's not a great trick. Beat boxing, please. There are better beat boxers in any park in Chicago. With those preppy sweaters and look-at-me arrangements. Gaaawwwd!

Please vote him off, America.


Inside Brookhaven Obesity Clinic is one of those sad shows that is one part freak show, one part educational documentary, one part something else we haven't quite identified yet.

I watch a lot of these sorts of shows. You actually can learn a lot about human behavior and what drives it.


It was "Yankee Doodle Doctor" on M*A*S*H. Some things never change.


Check out the What I Watched Last Night collection.


Posted on May 10, 2007

MUSIC - A Plan To Pay Musicians.
TV - Local TV News By Amazon.
POLITICS - Nursing Homes Fought Safety Regs.
SPORTS - Beachwood Sports Radio: Baseball Is Blowing It.

BOOKS - Black Activism In The Civil War Midwest.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Weird Shit Field Museum Workers Keep At Home.

Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!