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TV Towns

A Beachwood guide in-progress. Submissions welcome.


Show: All My Children
Town: Pine Valley
State: Pennsylvania
Where: Near Center City (Philly)
Popular Stores: The Boutique, The Glamorama
Popular Eatery: The Cluck-Cluck Chicken Shack

Show: As the World Turns
Town: Oakdale
State: Illinois
Size: Small Town
Amenities: Airport, TV Station, Luxury Hotel, 3 Major Newspapers, University, World-Renowned Hospital
Major Industry: Worldwide Enterprises

Show: Days of Our Lives
Town: Salem
Where: Somewhere in the Midwest with lots of Cubs fans . . .
Industry: Rivals Titan Industries and Basic Black
Strange But True: Despite its Midwestern location, has industrial harbor with direct ocean access and tropical water with many deserted tropical islands
Shopping District: Salem Place
Recent BIG NEWS: "Patch" returns from the dead . . .

Show: General Hospital
Town: Port Charles
State: New York
Where: By Lake Ontario
Most Mysterious Feature: Network of catacombs beneath the city
Ruled By: The Mob

Show: Guiding Light
Town: Springfield
State: Generally Assumed to be Illinois
Where: Not far from Oakdale
Slice and Dice: Was divided for several years between Springfield and San Cristobal
Show Us the Money: The Spaulding Family
Wackiest Relationship: Josh and Reva

Show: One Life to Live
Town: Llanview, county seat of Llantano County
Where: Suburban Philly, across the river from Pine Valley
Newspaper: The Banner
Home Of: Three prisons: Stateside, Statesville, and Lehigh
Industries: Buchanan Enterprises, Melador Cosmetics, Craze Magazine, Foxy Roxy's Hair Haven
Previous Cast Members: Tom Berenger, Laurence Fishburne, Tommy Lee Jones, Ryan Phillipe, Phylicia Rashad

Show: Passions
Town: Harmony
Where: New England Seaside, Massachusetts or Maine
Major Industry: Crane Industries
Newspaper: Harmony Herald
Weird Twist: Town is run by witches, including the evil Tabitha, as well as by the ruthless Alistair Crane
Planning a Trip? Stay in Harmony's Bed and Breakfast, pop into the bookstore, give a donation to the Harmony Youth Center, and don't forget to stop in at O'Carol's Hats!

Show: The Young and the Restless
Town: Genoa City
Where: Wisconsin
Conflict Between: Newman Family and Abbott Family
Major Industries: Newman Enterprises and Jabot (owned by Abbots)
Hairy Ex-Cast Members: David Hasselhoff and Tom Selleck


Show: Battlestar Galactica
Town: Battlestar Galactica
State: Outer Space
Unisex Activities: Boxing, drinking in the mess hall, macho posturing, daydreaming about loved ones lost on New Caprica
Execution Method: Out the airlock!
Chief Export: Convicted traitors
Popular Music: In short supply, but heavily Celtic

Show: Batman
Town: Gotham City
State: New York
Areas Of Interest: Gotham Point Beach, Gotham Park, Gotham Airport, Gotham Library
Local Officials: Police Commissioner Gordon, Police Chief O'Hara
For minor emergencies: Contact Gotham City Hall
For dire emergencies: Use red phone under glass or, at night, use huge search light shaped like a bat
Local culture: Home of the largest super-villain community in America. Costumes encouraged.


Show: Futurama
Town: New New York City
State: New York
Where: On top of Old New York
Lodgings: The Robot Arms Apartments
Flagship Business: Mom's Friendly Robot Company
Hall of justice: Famous Original Ray's Superior Court

Show: Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Town: Unspecified
State: New Jersey
Evening Amusement: Super Trivia
Parallel Justice System: Wood Court


Show: The Andy Griffith Show
Town: Mayberry
State: North Carolina
At The Base Of: The Blue Ridge Mountains
Near: Mt. Pilot
Popular Businesses: Floyd's Barber Shop, Walker's Drug Store, Weaver's Department Store, Wally's Gas Station
For Emergencies: Pick up phone and ask for the sheriff. The operator will connect you.


Show: The Office (US)
Town: Scranton
State: Pennsylvania
Chief Economic Asset: Disgruntled white- and blue-collar label
Popular Bar: Poor Richard's
Amusements: Fewer than prison
Scenery: Bountiful parking lots, meandering office parks


Posted on September 10, 2007

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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