Tell It To The FCC

Ever wonder if somebody isn't laughing when Jon Stewart emphasizes a statement with a well-placed four letter expletive? What about when Family Guy features a joke about Lois's boobs? And then, of course, the ever-unanswered question of whether those whiners are on to something when they complain game shows are rigged.

Turns out all three types of people exist. A site called Government Attic collects complaints sent by these people to the FCC.

Reading these complaints only makes these TV shows more enticing, kind of like when you're a kid and told never ever to reach for that batch of delicious chocolate chip cookies. Let's take a look.

*

FAMILY GUY
The overall theme of Family Guy complaints are about naughty words and sexually based humor. If you need to remember why you used to watch Family Guy, just read these.

Breasts
"On Sunday, March 12, 2006, my family went to a new restaurant, Quaker Steak & Lube. We were seated in an area that had at least 8 televisions, plus a blaring stereo system. The new television that was facing me was turned on to Fox and had the close-captioning turned on. While I was eating, I was 'treated' to the show Family Guy, an animated cartoon show.

"For a 30-minute show, it was chock full of raunch and offensive TV. The storyline revolved around a mother's attempt to wean the infant from breast-feeding. It went into great detail, including the infant crawling into her bedroom at night to attach a double breast pump to her; the older sons attempting to breastfeed the father; the mother's issues with engorgement; the father's attempt to dry her off by 'jiggling' her.

"During this wedding reception scene, the newly married groom is seen having a hard time controlling himself because of this woman's engorgement problem. Throughout the 30-minute show, the mother is seen removing her shirt, the baby finally latching on, and the mother seeking solace and advice from the family dog, who insists that he needs to see the mother topless and also asks to check out her underpants.

"Needless to say, I was outraged that this filth is allowed to be shown on our airwaves and I was thankful that, with the configuration of our table, I was the only one who had to look at it and not my elementary aged sons.

"The show that followed, Free Ride, was not much better, with graphic references to the parents' sex life, including questions to the college-aged son if he could have sex with a celebrity who would he choose, with the follow-up from the mother about which celebrity she thinks of when she has sex with the father.

"The college-aged son leaves the room in disgust at the thought of his parents having sex, all the while the parents yelling at him, 'Yes, we have sex!'

" I do not normally watch Fox television and now I can see that I have made a wise decision, since they are apparently not showing decent programming, at least on Sunday evenings. I appreciate your efforts in looking into these programs and assuring that our television airwaves are family friendly and protective of the family viewing hours."

God's Condoms
"I would like to file a complaint regarding the TV show (cartoon) Family Guy. The name of the episode is "The Courtship of Stewie's Father." The show has no redeeming/moral value what so ever. The show actually had the gall to show GOD in bed with a young woman ready to have sexual intercourse and the dialogue to go with that event, including the condoms. They also had Jesus and his earthly father Joseph having an argument. Along with portraying the total disrespect of family values - Stewie hitting his mother, the father and son ganging up on the wife/mother - there was also a male sexual predator in the episode as well. The whole show was quite revolting. It should be taken off the air. Thank you for your time and attention on this matter."

Banging
"Family Guy is listed as a children/family program on the Dish network guide. It is aired both on the Toon Network and TBS on the Dish Network programming. It airs weeknights at 7:00 and 7:30 PM on TBS and 8:00 PM on the Toon Network. I had not viewed this program before but on the night in question, I was at a friend's house and one of her children was watching this show. The show used phrases such as 'Fucking Bitch,' 'Banging the Old Lady,' and numerous racial slurs and other sexual jargon.

"I had the child turn to another station. I watched the show again last night (11/28/2005) to see if it was a regular occurrence. Again, the program was full of sexual jargon, racial slurs, and obscene language. This is a cartoon that airs on a children-oriented channel before 10:00 PM and does not have any warnings for strong language or content of sexual nature."

Beheading
"My family and I, including young children, were flipping through channels last night and landed on the cartoon The Family Guy. I was shocked to see the program displaying a person being BEHEADED, with blood splattered on the guillotine! I changed the channel quickly in disbelief and am angered that this is allowed on regular programming during early evening hours exposing children to such material. Thank you for your time on this matter and I look forward to your response."

Rampaging Jesus
"Every Sunday, a program called Family Guy is aired on the FOX network. Unfortunately, it is animated, which draws in younger viewers. The show has shown Jesus Christ going on a rampage and shooting people and other junk on an episode in which it negatively portrays Mel Gibson and Jesus Christ following The Passion release. It also makes fun of the Holocaust, and has repeated sexual material, including a character who's sole purpose on the show is to provide sexual comedy relief (i.e., masturbating, hiding in women's restrooms, etc.)"

*

THE DAILY SHOW
As for The Daily Show, everybody seems miffed with Jon Stewart's mastery of the English language even though the show is full of all kinds of fucking shit (which he could never tell you because Comedy Central censors his more colorful lexicon).

The 'F' Word
"Instead of spending your time trying to get conservative programming to GIVE liberals equal time, how about cleaning up the language. Jon Stewart said the 'f' word, course it was cut out but there was no question about what he said. That word is very filthy & shouldn't be permitted on TV. If you allow him to say it, others will."

Talking Shit
"When Jon Stewart described losing his keys as 'bad,' I think after that he said the apocalypse was 'shitty.' It didn't get bleeped, and you guys are usually pretty good at that. Either you slipped up or my ears are going bad, but I played it about 10 times and I'm pretty sure that's what he said. Either way please E-mail me at the address above and just let me know. Thanks."

The Gay Agenda
"While I know that you are struggling with the option of controlling pornography, graphic sexual activity and violence on Cable TV, I implore you to take action in this arena. Tonight during The Daily Show, Jon Stewart had two women on a bed French kissing, once again giving support to the agenda of the homosexual population.

"Now, I have had 1 cousin who died of AIDS, 3 friends who died of AIDS, a female roommate who was a lesbian, and a nephew who is gay. So I am definitely not homophobic. However, this incessant focus on the gay lifestyle tends to lead youngsters who do stay up to watch this program that it is OK to experiment with gay/lesbian activities. And, if you don't believe that, just watch Will and Grace, which is on a mainstream channel (ABC, CBS, or NBC, I think), as well as many of the shows in the so-called mainstream media. It's time for TV programming to get back to focusing on the vast majority of our population, the heterosexuals, and stop making it seem like the country is primarily homosexual . . . plus, the proliferation of these shows lead youngsters to believe that homosexuality is prevalent in our society, whereas it makes up a small portion of our population.

"And, there is the religious factor, too. Practicing homosexuality is against the teachings of virtually every religion. So, we should not allow the left-wing media to pass it off as normal and OK. Thank you for your consideration of this very important matter."

Mother F**ker
"Dear Sir,

"I found the 10/14/2004 interview on C-Span (American Perspectives) with TV's The Daily Show host Jon Stewart offensive when he chose to use a term that is not appropriate in private, let alone my television.

"When speaking, Stewart chose to use the term 'Mother F**ker' to describe someone's expression/feeling. He used it twice within a period of 10 minutes!

"Whether this station, C-Span, is providing 'information' regarding a political stance or not, this choice of language is inappropriate and inexcusable! I am sure that I will hear that it is cable, but this does NOT sit well with me as C-Span is NOT a choice on my cable package.

"Stewart also chose to Sh*t on several occasions but I guess if you let the "MF-Bomb" fly, saying Sh*t should be acceptable."

Madonna's Chest
"Last night I was watching the Daily Show with Jon Stewart on the Comedy Channel, 7 PM, during one of the pieces about Madonna visiting Israel, he mentioned her 'TIT CONES' on TV. This type of 'humor' shocks and offends me. What do you plan on doing about this type of behavior and what type of constraints will be put in place to prevent this type of behavior again?"

*

GAME SHOW CHEATING
When it comes to game shows, viewers seemed surprised that the networks have a hand in the results. Imagine that! These are the type of people who go to Vegas for fair gambling.

The Price Is Fixed
"Saw game show - The Price Is Right - looked like they were cheating - advised contact DOJ. Info from A 'game show' in which selected contestants participate is governed by the United States Code (USC) Title 47, regulated by the Department of Justice."

Big Brother Bad
"Game Show Fraud-A Contestant name Edward Donato openly admitted on TV that he cheated on the program Big Brother 8 by receiving outside help from his son. In addition, Mr. Donato has been frequently shown on Primetime TV from CBS by using edited words against contestants, a homosexual contestant and other male contestants relating to sexual matters.

"Allison Grober (spelling) Productions is responsible for allowing such material to be aired through CBS on public television during evening hours in the presence of children. The behavior shown by Mr. Donato with the approval by CBS and Mr. Donato's confession on live TV that he had been receiving coded messages and was taped with the suspicion of cheating on live TV has been condoned by CBS and Allison Grober Productions. The entire Big Brother Season 8 has ruined the integrity of the show and airing of the language even though edited both of a profane and sexual nature in the presence of children is unacceptable."

Big Brother 812
"CBS is committing a modern form of fraud in the way the old game shows did in order to get a specific result. They are using meetings on the set of the show and one of the players in order to influence the outcome. The show is then . . . NOT FAIR . . . and therefore a fraud.

"Perhaps even worse, CBS is allowing one of the contestants to abuse others in a way that makes this and many other viewers uncomfortable . . . the player is known as 'Dick.' Evidence of this discomfort can be found on the CBS website message boards for the show and a website for TV Grapevine that discusses events on TV reality shows.

"I have been a regular watcher of the show for several seasons and consider this season a desperate attempt to CBS to prop up the show. Rule changes are one thing but attempting to influence the outcome of your own show is another."

Big Brother 813
"I'm not sure this is the proper form, but please let me know if there is a different form for potentially fraudulent 'contests' on television. I'm hoping that the FCC will look into how valid the 'competition' is on CBS's 'reality' show Big Brother 8. It has become clear this year that the 'rules' of the game are not being followed. One contestant has had drinks dumped on her head even though there's a no-violent acts rule. One rulebook-reading contestant is currently having her actions undone even though she had confirmed the rules in advance. (Destroying cigarettes which were immediately replaced.) It really seems as if this is a 'game' in which the producers have picked their winner long ago. There is also talk about pressure in the 'Diary Room' (where contestants are isolated for private conversation) to keep certain players. I hope this is taken serious. I've held back this form for almost a month but it is very, very clear by now that there are no true rules being enforced.

"Like the game shows of the 1950s, this one is rigged for ratings It may even be possible that the producers are not aware that they are rigging the game if they're blind to the line between ratings and rigging. If nothing more, the show should be forced to disclaim it's status as a contest. Please help make me make sure future contests enter a safe house with valid competition, and that viewers are aware of what they are *not* seeing: a fair, unbiased contest."

Mystery Wheel
"I have for a long suspected that Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy are fixed in terms of managing wins.

"Recently on Wheel of Fortune there was added two 'Mystery' spaces on the wheel. The incidence rate that these two spaces are landed upon defines all laws of probability, establishing in my mind that the show controls the wheel. And if it can control the wheel, it can control the game and have certain contestants win order to increase their audiences and ratings.

Double Jeopardy
Jeopardy tests its contestants so that it knows what the contestants know and do not know and they can manage, and I suspect they do, the questions in order to have a given contestant win so that they also can increase their audiences and their ratings.

"It is my view that these shows must be impartial to their contestants And I seriously believe that they are not impartial for purposes of pandering to certain audiences and for purposes of improving their ratings.

"These shows are defrauding and cheating their contestants by not giving them an equal chance to win and are being less than honest with their audiences who are led to believe that the contestants have an equal chance to win based on their skill and knowledge.

"I would encourage you, in the interest of fairness and justice, to check this out. And I would greatly appreciate your keeping me informed of your actions in this regard."