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The Van Impes

Who: Jack and Rexella Van Impe (pronounced Van Imp-ee)
Alias: The Walking Bible
Where: Troy, MI
Organization: Jack Van Impe Ministries
Founded: 1948

Schtick: Commentary and analysis of news items that signal the coming Tribulation. Jack's wife, Rexella, reads world news headlines while Jack uses his God-like powers of recall to recite Bible verses prophesizing the end of days. According to the Van Impes, the EU will elect the Antichrist and Russia will fight Israel in the Battle of Armageddon, possibly sometime in 2012.
Newsletter: Van Impe Intelligence Briefing
Magazine: Perhaps Today
Revelation Illustrated: Plenty of Dungeons & Dragons-influenced graphics on the Bible Prophecy Portal of the Internet. This piece is titled The Opening of the Sealed Scroll (REV. 5:5-14). What's up with the seven-eyed sheep?
DVD: "Left Behind? What's Next" goes for $24.95 ($29.95 Canadian).
Super Powers: On his Website, Van Impe claims the ability to quote 14,000 Bible verses. But, like with any great prophet, there are skeptics. "One Ohio minister once told Jack that his Scripture-quoting was leading him into a stilted form of preaching and would hurt his ministry. Today, that homiletical expert is out of the ministry after the church died under his polished preaching, while Dr. Van Impe is still quoting Scripture and reaping the benefits of its power."
Lesson: God is on Jack Van Impe's side.
TV Quote: "International news and in-depth analysis from the award-winning team."
Politics: Of a dark kind.
Prayer Requests: Of course.
Money: Ministry Watch reports that in 2002 Jack Van Impe Ministries claimed $2.9 million in net assets. "JVIM has demonstrated superior openness and transparency through the degree of its responsiveness and the quality and quantity of information provided." The financial quick take shows that JVIM experienced a 24 percent decrease in net assets between 2000 and 2001. The report states: "This decreasing revenue trend may be an indication of the age of JVIM's audience members and its lack of garnering additional support from a younger audience."
More Predictions: Who can resist with a title like Overview of Major Future Events
Evaluation: They aren't boring.
Hallelujahs: 7.5

- Timothy Inklebarger


Posted on March 14, 2006

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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