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Coming Soon on The Oprah Winfrey Network

"Oprah Winfrey formally unveiled the centerpiece of her new television network Thursday: Oprah Winfrey," the New York Daily News reports.

"The queen of daytime will become a night owl in Oprah's Next Chapter, which will air an unspecified number of times a week at an unspecified time on the new Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN).

"Other programs will be a Shania Twain 'reality" show, a Mark Burnett competition show that will seek a new daytime TV host, a talk show hosted by Oprah's best friend, Gayle King, and a 'master class' that will feature prominent successful people like Condoleezza Rice, Jay-Z and will.i.am."

The Beachwood Oprah Affairs Desk has learned that these shows are also under consideration:

1. The Daily Weigh-In.

Followed by The Daily Weigh-In: The Aftershow in which Oprah either celebrates by eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's or eats a pint of Ben & Jerry's out of self-loathing.

2. Touched By An Angel Named Oprah.

A look at the people whose lives have been touched by Oprah, through Oprah's eyes.

3. Under Your Seat.

Oprah shows up unannounced at movie theaters, classrooms, offices and people's cars at stop signs and reveals that a gift they can take home has been placed under everyone's seat.

4. Dr. Phoz.

Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz will be forced to live in a house together and see what happens when things get real.

5. The Confidentiality Hour.

The screen will go black as every employee of Oprah re-signs their confidentiality agreement every day.

6. You Go, Girl!

Oprah takes to the streets with a hand-held camera and encourages girls she meets to "go."

7. I'm Scared Of Oprah.

Talk show hosts share their feelings of inadequacy and fear.

8. The Shoot.

An inside look at the monthly photo shoot for O magazine, starring Oprah Winfrey.

9. I'm Oprah.

Oprah sits down with just us girls and dishes about herself.

10. The Oprah Winfrey Network After-Network.

Everything on The Oprah Winfrey Network will be immediately reflected upon on the Oprah Winfrey Network After-Network.

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Comments welcome.

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1. From Beachwood reader Mark:

Buying "O".

Winfrey and her agents throw money at Cirque du Soleil until the troupe agrees to re-conceptualize its popular underwater Vegas show as a tribute to her.

*

It's A Wonderful Best Life

Participants are given a virtual peek into how great their lives could have been if only they had followed more of Oprah's advice.

*

Wheel of Oprah

Just like "Wheel of Fortune," but all monetary values on the wheel are replaced by self-empowering bromides. Contestants can exchange good karma points for items from the Harpo gift shop.

*

Oprah's Book-Burning Club

A spinoff of her wildly popular reading circle, this show features discussions of books that Oprah doesn't like, followed by their elaborate public destruction.

*

O Say - I Can See!

Having fully conquered the emotional and spiritual realms, Oprah sets out to prove her miraculous physical healing powers in this take on the classic fundamentalist tent revival. Guests whose afflictions are somehow not cured are given luxury goody bags instead.




Permalink

Posted on April 13, 2010


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