And Then There's Maude: Episode 18

Our tribute to the 35th anniversary of the debut of Maude continues.

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Season 1, Episode 18
Episode Title: Florida's Problem

Original airdate: 13 February 1973

Plot: Florida is in a foul mood and Maude can't help butting in. After a bit of cajoling, Florida admits she's been fighting with her husband Henry over whether to quit her job as the Findlays' maid. Maude, always ready for a good fight, jumps to her friend's defense. After Maude witnesses Henry order his woman to quit and come back home where she belongs, it quickly turns into a battle of the sexes. The sides are evened up when Walter demands that Maude keep out of it. Together, Florida and Maude declare their "Womancipation" from the "yoke of male domination."

An episode recap in dialogue:

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Maude, Walter and Carol: Good morning Florida.

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Florida: Don't worry about it. I always come through the kitchen like a black tornado.

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Florida: Haven't you read the papers? It's National Foul Mood Day . . . whoopee!

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Maude: She just bit my head off. Walter you talk to her . . . and if you hurt her feelings, I'll rip your heart out.

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Maude (when Carol refuses to talk to Florida about her bad mood): Carol you owe me your life. There were years when I could have stepped on you in your playpen.

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Maude: Florida, what are you doing? You don't smoke.
Florida: They say these are supposed to relax you. (Stares at the cigarette in her hand.) I'm waitin'!

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Maude: All right, if that's the way you feel, you're free to leave!
Florida: Well, glory, halleluiah, thank you. Thank you, Miss Lincoln.

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Florida to Maude: Your big mouth don't bother me none. It's kind of like working with the radio on.

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Maude: Are you having trouble with Henry?
Florida: Henry who?

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Florida: He's tired of me working for The Man. Actually, he said honky.

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Florida: You live with a man for 22 years. You wake up one morning and all of a sudden he's Superfly.

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Maude to Henry: You're Florida's husband.
Henry: That's one way of putting it but the other way - which is the right way - is that Florida's my wife.

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Henry: Yeah, that's right. Just like I was tellin' Mrs. Findlay, here come the judge.

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Henry: No more ironin' for white folks.
Maude: Mr. Evans, I'll have you know that under this roof we are all human beings. There is no white and no black. We are all the same. We are all - people color!

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Henry to Florida: See, you been working for "Miss Ann" too long. Where you get off using words like "abuse."

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Florida: Alright man, you're hasslin' me!

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Henry: You save that jive-talk for the cotton field, Ms. Findlay.

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Henry: Once and for all, I'm taking you home for good . . . I'm coming back at 9 o'clock and I mean 9 o'clock W.P.T.
Maude: Florida, what's W.P.T.?
Florida: White People Time. If he didn't mean 9 o'clock sharp, he would have said C.P.T. That's Colored People Time, which means shuffle on in when you feel like it.

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Maude to Florida: Boy, of all the male chauvinist pigs. I mean he's something straight out of the Dark Ages. Nothing racial intended.

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Walter: Now look Maude, I'm sure that Florida understands. We have no right to interfere in her marriage.
Maude: And I have no time for any of this jive-talk!

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Florida: I think she's turning black by osmosis.

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Maude: I've watched every single pro-football game on TV all year so I'm an authority and I know that Joe Namath, without a shadow of a doubt, has a cuter rear end than either Bob Griese or Mercury Morris.

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Maude: Here's to our Emancipation Proclamation. I mean, our Womancipation Proclamation. Florida and I are finally getting out from under the yoke of male domination.

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Florida: And did you ever see a girl join her father in business? You never heard tell of Sanford and Daughter.

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Walter to Maude: Your lips feel like thin slices of day-old liver.

Maude (slamming a Swanson's frozen dinner in front of her husband): Walter if you think that's a frozen chicken wait 'till you see what you find in bed tonight.

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Henry: A cigarette? Well tell (Florida) to drag her butt out here.

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Maude: I've just spoken to Mrs. Evans and she wishes me to convey the message to you that at this particular moment she does not care to converse with you. She requests instead that you bug off.

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Maude: Walter, the last king in this country was Kong and he was shot off the Empire State Building for being less of a drag than you are right now. He was also a lot more attractive.

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Henry: Florida, I got a good mind to go right upside your head.

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Henry to Florida: You're my wife. That gives me the right (to order you around.)
Maude: When he says right, he means possession.
Walter: So what, Maude. You told me a hundred times you want to feel possessed.
Maude: Walter Findlay, I never said that standing up and you know it.

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Henry: Woman's rights. Boy, don't nobody ever want to talk about men's rights.
Walter: Outta sight Henry. Let's talk about it right now!
Henry: Right on!

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Henry: . . . 'cause I am no longer going to be the husband of a black maid!

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Florida: You people ain't going to be sucked in by that jive . . . You ain't listenin' to a black problem, woman. You're listening to a male ego.

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Florida: There are a lot of women, Henry, on both sides of my family who worked all their lives in white kitchens so their kids could get some of the things they should have. You want to be proud of something Henry, you be proud of them 'cause they was all black women and I tell you there ain't never been a better woman than that.

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Florida: I'm going home now Ms. Findlay. I'll see you in the morning. Right, Henry?

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Maude to Walter: Regardless of race, color or creed you're all a bunch a male chauvinist pigs.

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Hot button social issue:Equal rights for women - jive talk or outta sight!

Fashion statement: Carol is wearing a low-cut purple minidress with long, poofy granny sleeves paired with knee-high black boots.

Neckerchief count: Three, including a riot of purple and green paisley Maude wears that coordinates with a full-length vest.

Number of times Maude yells: 5

'70s slang: This episode is a bonanza of '70-speak - Outta sight, bug off, jive-talk, drag, right on, honky, male chauvinist pig, and The Man.

Memorable quote: When Maude alludes to the fact that Florida's bad mood might be the start of menopause, Florida snaps: "You don't know how old I am. You forget, you people don't never know how old we are. That kills you don't it."

Times the live audience breaks out into spontaneous applause: 6

Keep an eye out for: John Amos, who makes his first appearance as Florida's husband, Henry Evans.

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Previously:
Season 1, Episode 1: Maude's Problem.
Season 1, Episode 2: Doctor, Doctor.
Season 1, Episode 3: Maude Meets Florida.
Season 1, Episode 4: Like Mother, Like Daughter.
Season 1, Episode 5: Maude and the Radical.
Season 1, Episode 6: The Ticket.
Season 1, Episode 7: Love and Marriage.
Season 1, Episode 8: Flashback.
Season 1, Episode 9: Maude's Dilemma (Part One).
Season 1, Episode 10: Maude's Dilemma (Part Two).
Season 1, Episode 11: Maude's Reunion.
Season 1, Episode 12: The Grass Story.
Season 1, Episode 13: The Slum Lord.
Season 1, Episode 14: The Convention.
Season 1, Episode 15: Walter's 50th Birthday.
Season 1, Episode 16: The Medical Profession.
Season 1, Episode 17: Arthur Moves In.

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