Beachwood Sports ArchiveA monthly look back
Beachwood Sports VideoPlease Stop Believing 99 Years of Cub Losses The 1908 Song Blame It On Bartman We Can't Wait 100 Years Dusty Must Get Fired
Search The Beachwood Reporter
Subscribe to the Newsletter
Each Cub, in his own way, turned out to be indispensable.
* Geo Soto's connections too important to Mike Quade's well-being to trade away.
* Koyie Hill bonded with Rahm over loss of finger; could come in handy.
* Tony Pena the left-handed .227 hitter Hendry always wanted.
* Darwin Barney Bobblehead Day already on next year's schedule.
* Starlin Castro's Uncle Raul nixed deal to send his talents to South Beach.
* Aramis Ramirez is already committed to his kids' carpool in September.
* Alfonso Soriano dropped pen to waive no-trade clause, bumped head on table after retrieving it, deal withdrawn.
* Marlon Byrd Bobblehead Day with jaw-protecting helmets already on next year's schedule.
* Tyler Colvin deserves chance to hit .240 in the bigs.
* Reed Johnson: Nickname "Big Swinging" too funny to give up.
* Jeff Baker: Indispensable utility man is the first building block for 2012.
* Tony Campana: As a 14-year-old, not eligible for trading yet.
* Blake DeWitt: Someone has to mentor infielder DJ LaMahieu in how to play the outfield out of position next spring.
* Carlos Zambrano: Package deal with Ramirez to White Sox fell apart when Hendry learned Scott Podsednik was no longer on the South Side and therefore unavailable.
* Ryan Dempster: Bookings for his Harry Caray impersonation too important a revenue stream to Cubs.
* Matt Garza: Refused to go because he thinks team is still in it.
* David Wells: Hendry working on time machine to retrieve him from rookie year.
* Rodrigo Lopez: Visalia unwilling to throw a hundred hot dogs into deal for a dozen baseball bats.
* Carlos Marmol: Hendry hung up phone on Yankees when they refused to take him straight up for Rivera.
* Sean Marshall: A set-up man is the building block for you whole team. Setting up losses is one of the most important jobs in baseball.
* James Russell: As the team's pitching scapegoat, Hendry was worried that trading him would put a curse on the team.
* Kerry Wood: Team still has 100,000 We've Got Wood t-shirts in stock.
* Jeff Samardzija: Under a deal Hendry made with Notre Dame, the school controls one roster spot for an alum for the next 75 years.
* Ramon Ortiz: Has photos of Jim Hendry pleasuring himself with stacks of no-trade clauses.
* John Grabow: Nickname of John Grabass too funny to give up.
-More from Beachwood Sports »
The ultimate homer directs a lovefest as ridiculous and far from the truth as his broadcasts.Continue reading "Hawk Harrelson Goes Out As Awfully As He Broadcasted" »
Posted on Sep 17, 2018