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What The Bears Are Doing On Their Bye Week

According to sources.

* Marc Trestman using back channels to see if Minnesota job will be open soon.

* Phil Emery using back channels to see if Minnesota job will be open soon.

* Jay Cutler taking over Kristin Cavallari's Twitter feed.

* Kristin Cavallari using back channels to see if Josh McCown is single.

* Brandon Marshall painting target on his uniform.

* Julius Peppers beginning B-12 regimen.

* Marc Trestman using back channels to see if Alouettes job will be open soon.

* Phil Emery trying to sign Bears up for Obamacare.

* Phil Emery dodging phone calls from Ozzie Guillen looking for a job.

* Josh McCown beginning steroid regimen.

* Charles Tillman punching balls out of high school players' hands to pass the time.

* Jay Cutler finally watching Laguna Beach.

* Devin Hester running receiver routes with high school players just to pass the time.

* Roberto Garza hiking balls to high school quarterbacks just to pass the time. Plus, misses having hands up under his ass.

* Robbie Gould helping Chicago Fire get into the playoffs.

* Stephen Paea choreographing new haka to make it snow.

* D.J. Williams spinning wax at Cobra Lounge.

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Comments welcome.

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