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This Week In Deadspin Chicago

The Chicago sports scene always provides Deadspin with plenty of material, but this week we went above and beyond our duty to provide the world's most popular sports site with wacky hijinks. Let's take a look.

1. Ugly Blues-Blackhawks Series Gets Uglier With "Wakey-Wakey" Taunt.

Hawk Harrelson can only exist in this town because Chicagoans are still so goddamn parochial. It's Homer City. So when Brooks Orpik puts a legal, unpenalized hit on captain Jonathan Toews, a great crime has occurred. And when the Blackhawks don't retaliate for said legal, unpenalized hit, well, idiocy abounds.

But when Brent Seabrook puts a dirty hit on Blues captain David Backes, and then Duncan Keith taunts the concussed Backes with a childish "wakey, wakey," well, yeah, it was, um, wrong, the sports commentariat sheepishly and grudgingly acknowledges, but who knows, maybe he didn't really say it ("I don't remember everything that gets said," Keith claimed, which is essentially an admission), and hey, you know, it's good for the Blackhawks to play a Backes-less Blues at any rate.


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2. Even The Chicago Bulls' Security Staff Is Sick Of Joey Crawford's Shit.

"The Chicago Bulls have set up a kind of text-message hotline that fans can use to hail the assistance of the arena's security team. Reader Dave was at the game between the Bulls and the Wizards last night, and he tried his luck at getting referee Joey Crawford - who made a number of bad calls and whom everyone hates - kicked out of the arena."

Text through to see the text exchange.

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3. Cubs Pretend Their History Doesn't Include Sammy Sosa.

I'm with the Cubs on this one.

Why invite back an embarrassment who not only corked his bats but corked his body? The fact that he bailed on his teammates one year only adds to a legacy that includes an infamously bashed boom box and now his statement that he's ready to make amends for any "misunderstandings" that occurred while he was here.

The only misunderstanding is the Cubs playing the victim, having enabled Sammy and his Flintstones vitamins in return for fannies in the stands. Maybe they should all go to counseling together, but that wasn't even the current ownership or management, so they should do it on their own time.

They could take David Kaplan with them, because he needs serious help too.

What makes it time? The statute of limitations ran out?

Kaplan was even more adamant on his SportsTalk Live show this week, arguing that because idiot fans in other cities welcomed back Barry Bonds and Ryan Braun, we should welcome back Sammy. I'd prefer Chicago fans think for themselves.

Finally, The Score's Mark Grote made perhaps the most important point on STL by noting that the return of Sammy for Wrigley's 100th birthday party would make that day all about Sammy, not Wrigley. Which is the mentality that got us here in the first place.

Watch:

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4. Reporter Asks Patrick Kane "Was That Your First Overtime Game-Winner?"

The reporter was NBCChicago's Peggy Kusinski. Here it is:

In a now-deleted tweet, Kusinski said:

wow deadspin already! I did ask Kane about GW in OT, trying to lead him into talking about the others - He didn't, and question fell flat.

Pretty weak. If that was an attempt to "lead him" into talking about his other overtime game-winners, why not just ask him straight out about his other overtime game-winners? Better yet, why not pursue a better question, like, describe how tonight's overtime goal came together - how the play developed, what you were thinking, the shot you took?

The truth is that most broadcasters (and too many print reporters) don't ask interesting questions, they just say something as a way to get their subject to say something - anything. And then they put it on the air, regardless of if it has any value.

You have access, use it!

But maybe I don't understand how reporter/player dynamics work.

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5. The Cubs' 400-Pound Wrigley Cake Is Sitting In A Dumpster Right Now.

The Cubs were quick to blame Field Museum personnel for this fiasco, seeing as how the cake was last in their possession, but Jesus fuck, Cubs, you didn't make plans for the cake's ultimate destination?

My assumption would have been that it would be eaten. But it turns out it's only partly edible; much of it is built out of . . . stuff . . . to help make the . . . um, bleachers and stuff, I guess. All the better! You think folks wouldn't like to take those pieces home!

Kaplan, again, gets it wrong, both on this point and on his main message that destruction and disposal of the cake is perfectly fine, it should have just been done in secret so it wouldn't make it onto Deadspin!

No! I would have taken the cake remnants; who wouldn't want a mini-Wrigley in their home from that very special day? Totally a collector's item!

Here's Kaplan being ridiculous:

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Let's smarten up out there, people. That's the best way to avoid international humiliation.

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Comments welcome.

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