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This Just In: Darwin Barney Is Adequate

Okay. So, if you are reading this right now, you probably read last week in The Second Basemen Report that I said that Darwin Barney "should never be starting on a major league roster."

So, first, what I said kinda makes no sense because he should never be starting, or never be on a major league roster - it should be one or the other, right? But my point pretty much was, he shouldn't be a consistent starter.

But then we have to go out to San Francisco and see that Ryan Theriot is the starter at second for the Giants. And on top of that, Barney went out and had a really solid week at the plate - even more solid when you think about how bad the Cubs are at hitting.

Which made me think: I might be wrong.

Darwin Barney might actually be a starting second baseman. If you look at the first years as starters of both Theriot and Barney you see that they are close to the same player - except that Barney was 25 when he got his first crack at starting and Theriot was 27.

In their first seasons, Barney notched a .666 OPS to Theriot's .672. Theriot stole a bunch more bases, but their WAR were the same at 1.5.

My point is not to throw stats at you but to show that, truly, Darwin Barney is actually a starting second baseman on a major league team.

Which is not to say that Darwin Barney is good, but more to say that there are at least a bunch of starting second basemen who are just as bad as he is.

Week in Review: The Cubs went 3-3 for the week sweeping the Padres at home and losing three to the Giants on the road. In two of their three wins, the Cubs scored eight and 11 runs. So my theory holds: They never lose when they score eight runs or more.

The Week in Preview: The Cubs stay in San Fran for one more with the Giants and try to avoid the four-game sweep. Then they head over to Miller Park for three with the Brewers and up to Minny for three against the Twins. If nothing else, Len and Bob will talk a bit about Target Field in Minny. And these days it's the little things you look forward to.

The Second Basemen Report: Darwin Barney got the nod in all six games this week. I will still say that I'm not wrong that Barney shouldn't be a starting second baseman, but apparently it's really hard to find 30 or so people in the world capable of being better than he is. It's crazy, but that's just how the ghost of Jim Hendry would have drawn it up.

In former second basemen news, Mickey Morandini - once known as the nifty little gloveman - is now being the angry little manager for the single-A Lakewood Blue Claws in the Phillie system. He is missed.

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Crazy Corners: The bloom is a bit off the rose for Brian LaHR but the guy is still riding a five-game hit streak - even though he's not in there against lefties too much these days. Three games each for Super Joe Mather and Ian Stewart this week at third. Should be fun to see who wins the job. And when I say should be fun, I mean probably nauseating to see one guy be just barely better than the other.

Weekly Bunting Report: The Cubs love to friggin' bunt. Reed Johnson had a sweet bunt single on Sunday. Bunting really is a part of the offense on this team. And the offense is offensive.

The Zam Bomb: Big Z had two wins this week as well as a homer at the plate for the Marlins. No one is better when things are going well, and that makes Big Z Apologetic.

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Endorsement No-Brainer: Alfonso Soriano for meat cleavers. Because this guy is still a butcher.

Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares of pencils traded higher this week as the Cub prepare for the amateur draft this week. They sharpened the hell out of those pencils. They can't F up this draft, or the next or, or the next one, or, well, you get the idea.

Sink or Sveum: 42% Analytical, 58% Emotional. Sveum drops another four points on the Dale-O-Meter this week due to playing the old guys and still losing. On a scale of Bat Sh#t Crazy(Charles Manson), Not All There (random guy with a neck tattoo), Thinking Clearly (Jordi LaForge) and Non-Emotional Robot (Data), Dale is really filling up his neck with ink this week.

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And just like your thought to be level-headed uncle, Dale knows the family volleyball game is just for fun and really about the kids, but he's telling the bigger cousins to hit the ball every time because Uncle Earl is just talking too much smack and losing get old.

Over/Under: The number of walk-off homers Darwin Barney will have for the rest of his career: +/- .5.

Don't Hassle the Hoff Looks like Micah Hoffpauir has nine of these "背番号." Is that a hassle? I don't know.

Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that I really can't believe the world is not capable of creating a few better second basemen.

The Cub Factor: Unlike Alfonso Soriano, you can catch 'em all!

The White Sox Report: Know the enemy.

Fantasy Fix: Dual Diagnosis.

Swings Both Ways: Cheap Sweep.

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