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There Once Was A Man Named Zell

A tribute in limericks.


There once was a man named Sam Zell
Who drove mobile homeowners to hell
Named the Grave Dancer
Wealth grew like a cancer
He made the Cubs play in the Cell


There's a park named Wrigley Field
Whose owners want more profit to yield
First there were lights
Now naming rights
That Sam Zell has the power to steal


There once was a man named Sam Zell
Who bought the newspaper company from hell
He took on lots of debt
Kept his corporate jet
And really knows how to yell


There once was a mogul named Zell
Who had a great naming right to sell
Chicago's Wrigley Field
From tradition will yield
And Cubs fans can all go to hell


There once was a man from Trib Tower
Who had too much money and power
And as with the Cell
Said the former Sam Zell
I've rechristened myself Andre Braugher


There once was a Grave Dancer named Sam
He liked stories about puppies not scams
He swore like a sailor
And eschewed a tailor
And probably listens to Wham!


There once was a man from Trib Tower
Who had bucks and too much power
His name is Sam Zell
He had naming rights to sell
He demanded all Cub fans cower


There once was a complicated financial scheme
That to Sam Zell was structured like a dream
He sold Wrigley to the state
Used naming rights as bait
And Cubs fans he did ream


Tim Willette, Marty Gangler, Eric Emery, Marilyn Ferdinand, Steve Rhodes and Jerry "Bleacher Preacher" Pritikin.

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