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We missed it! Perhaps - although it's a tight race so awarding this honor could go to any number of contenders - the most ridiculously named bowl game went down on Wednesday. Temple trounced Florida International 28-3 in The Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl in a game that went sideways in a hurry. Panthers stud senior signal-caller Alex McGough went down with a broken collarbone early, leaving FIU with an untested backup at quarterback. How is it that college coaches can't find a solution to this predicament? Quarterbacks go down like dominoes these days yet the victimized team rarely has a better plan than flinging a human clipboard to the wolves. In FIU's case, the sacrificial lamb was a second-year QB who had attempted all of six passes. We try to avoid trashing college players - making rare exceptions for the likes of Jameis Winston - so let's just say McGough's backup is a work in progress. Following the Bad Boy Bowl, Maurice Alexander's two-year career touchdown-to-interception ratio stands at 2-8 with two picks coming in the bowl game. Tough break (ayyooo) Panthers.
For the curious, the Gasparilla name honors Jose Gaspar, a mythical buccaneer of the late 18th- and early 19th-century who plundered the Gulf of Mexico and environs for 40 years, raiding dozens of vessels from his legendary pirate kingdom in Southeast Florida. Now that is a bowl backstory. No doubt Gaspar rolled over in his watery grave when a lawncare company won sponsorship rights to his namesake game. Perhaps Bad Boy Mowers however isn't the worst choice. Witness the history of the bowl's past incarnations:
- magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl, 2008
- Beef O'Brady's Bowl, 2009-2013
- Bitcoin St. Petersburg Bowl, 2014
- St. Petersburg Bowl, 2015-2016
As we go to press, The Bahamas Bowl (featuring UAB vs. Ohio in . . . the Bahamas) is underway with another close behind:
The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Central Michigan Chippewas vs. Wyoming Cowboys (-3)
Friday, December 22, 3 p.m. ESPN (Albertsons Stadium in New Orleans, LA)
In this world of uncertainty, the Potato Bowl remains our rock. The annual spudfest gives us a warm and comforting sensation, much like slipping into a bathtub of buttered mashed potatoes.
CFR pick: Wyoming QB Josh Allen plans to make a go of it despite coming off an injured shoulder. Kudos to Allen. As a projected first-round pick in April's NFL draft, many players in his position (as has increasingly become the norm) would sit out the game rather than risk further injury. Good on you, Josh. Even so, we still like the Chippewas catching a field goal.
The Chicken: CMU by 2
Up next: a three-game series on Saturday followed by a lone game on Sunday. Christmas Eve! What's the world coming to. Wait, what are we saying? Game on!
* The World's Greatest College Football Report's Bowl Preview Part 1. Keywords: AutoNation, Dreamstyle Remodeling, Las Vegas, Mountain Dew Mouth, North Texas Mean Green, Raycom, Troy Trojans.
* The World's Greatest College Football Report's Bowl Preview Part 2. Executives at Cheribundi no doubt would have preferred a more competitive game. Having signed on as the bowl sponsor until 2019, Cheribundi needed the contest to attract at least some marginal attention to bolster the awareness of its tart cherry beverages nationwide.
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