Sports

The White Sox Report

By Andrew Reilly

It's nice to see the Sox returning to their roots. After so much bluster about "grinding" and "Ozzieball" and "not being a total disgrace," they've finally acknowledged what we all have been saying for so long: the Sox are not a well-rounded, fundamentally sound team, but one that will live and die with its in-house power company. And why should they be anything else?

Why move a runner over when you've got an early contender for Comeback Player of the Year launching late-inning anti-aircraft weapons?

Why make routine plays at third when Alex Rios might have a trick up his sleeve?

Why close out an inning when Paul Konerko has more home runs than anyone?

And lo, when they embrace that, look what happens: they win. Yes, they look ridiculous and half of their wins for the season are now totally transparent but that's worlds better than looking like, say, the Royals, who only own the basement thanks to a miserable defender so pivotal in bringing the Sox out of the darkness so long ago.

So they can win with home runs, and they've embraced this just in time, as none of the next few series are likely to act as clinics in old-school, play-it-the-right-way baseball any time soon. They seemed so hopeless, and yet they've found hope; they looked doomed to lose forever, and yet they enter the week on a fantastic little winning streak. These good times probably won't last but, by surprising us all by merely existing in the first place, maybe they don't have to.

Week in Review: Major. A 4-2 showing for series against the Rays and Mariners marks the Sox' best week since who-cares-when.

Week in Preview: Longballtastic. Three at the missile range in Arlington followed by three in the Bronx hit factory.

Hawkeroo's Can-O-Corn Watch: "And really, that's all it's about, is taking that good offense and turning it into good defense. And this second baseman they have for Texas, or our own Andruw Jones, he's one of the best players I've ever seen at doing that, he can go 2-for-4, 3-for-4, and have an absolutely wonderful day in the field too, maybe turn a nice double play, because as long as his bat knows where his glove is, he's gonna play just fine. But it's when you take away the glove's bat, it doesn't know what to do, and that's what makes guys like Ian Kinsler, Michael Young, that's why the Texas Rangers are always such a good ballclub."

Gordon Beckham Hall of Fame Update: The ever-useful Baseball Reference gives Gordon Beckham a Hall of Fame Standards rating of 11, with actual Hall of Famers scoring at least 50, thus proving without a doubt Gordon Beckham will accomplish in five seasons as much as Ty Cobb did in 24.

Alumni News You Can Use: Former Sox mystery man and current Yankee RHP Javier Vazquez on his April of 20 innings pitched and 20 earned runs allowed: "it's kind of embarrassing the way I'm throwing the ball."

The "H" in "DH" Stands For: Homecoming, of sorts, as Andruw Jones seeks revenge against the same Texas Rangers team that didn't have enough confidence in his .214 average last season to offer him a new contract over the winter.

The Q Factor: When asked about how he planned to spend the day off before starting the series against the Rangers, Carlos Quentin stared sullenly into the distance, pondering his recent struggles on the diamond and thinking of the promise he made that one fateful afternoon so many years ago. "Wandering," he finally answered. "Wandering in a sea of fog and perpetual confusion." Thoughts composed and emotions once again in check, Quentin walked on in silence, by himself but never alone.

The Guillen Meter: With his team riding a nice mini-wave of momentum despite eschewing real baseball in favor of home run heroics, the Guillen meter reads six for "walk-off bombs are the new sacrifice bunt."

Endorsement No-Brainer: Paul Konerko's 1.2:1 R:BB ratio for The Ventures' contribution to surf-rock instrumental history: Walk, Don't Run.

Cubs Snub: The White Sox Report wishes to congratulate Cub reliever Carlos Zambrano on his new job, for which he will earn more every two recorded outs than Randy Wells will earn all season. If that's not money well spent, nothing is.

The White Sox Report: Read 'em all.

The Cub Factor: It's funny because it's true.

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The White Sox Report welcomes your comments.

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Andrew Reilly is the managing editor of The 35th Street Review and a contributor to many fine publications.

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