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Top 10 Ways The Cubs Will Blow It

10. Team faces rash of injuries after a Joe Maddon STD theme trip.

9. David Ross thrown out at home in Game 7 of World Series after video scoreboard in left tells him to "go the distance."

8. Wrigley Field repossessed in Ricketts credit swap debacle.

7. Reserve outfielder Brant Brown added to team after a rash of injuries and "NO! NOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!"

6. Rahm Emanuel, glad-handing in the seats near the left-field foul line, does the Bartman.

5. Knocked out by Iceland in first round.

4. Michael Ferro gains control of club and replaces players with content optimization bots.

3. Crane Kenney continues to show up for work every day.

2. Donald Trump.

1. Goat tries to sneak poor person into Wrigley and is denied; files lawsuit, gets injunction against playoffs preceding.

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Contributing: Marty Gangler, Tim Willette, Eric Emery, Steve Rhodes

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Comments welcome.

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