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The Season In Verse | Could Hardly Be Worse

Call it our National Pastime
Or America's Game,
But the way the White Sox play it,
Is just a doggone shame.

Where is the energy?
What happened to the drive?
Management keeps reminding us
They won it all in two thousand-five.

We all miss Minnie
And Billy Pierce has departed.
This season really ended
Almost as soon as it started.

Last in runs scored,
These guys couldn't reach base.
The defense had holes
That's why they're in fourth place.

Runner after runner
Was left on base
While hitters struck out, popped up, made outs
At a very alarming pace.

You can't blame the fans
For wanting Ventura to go.
Where are the fundamentals
Three losing years in a row?

But Robin will return.
The Chairman rewards loyalty,
But how in the world
Is his manager still royalty?

Hahn made headlines;
He signed Melky and Zach Duke.
LaRoche came on board.
Excuse me if I puke.

The Shark raised our hopes,
But we forgot a major rub.
We overlooked his past,
The guy used to be a Cub.

Abreu joined Pujols.
He mostly hit in the clutch;
30 homers, 101 RBI,
But they didn't help so much.

Chris Sale passed Ed Walsh;
He fanned 274 batters.
Yet he was just 13-11,
Isn't that what matters?

Look for a change at shortstop.
Alexei should be on his way.
His option calls for ten million.
That's way too much to pay.

The team's stable of lefties
Pitched well at times,
But the lack of support
Should be a federal crime.

Quintana has mastered
The art of no decision.
Hahn may have to deal him
To compete in the Central Division.

Danks makes big bucks,
But he's failed to deliver.
When his changeup isn't working,
He pitches like chopped liver.

Third base was a problem
We need a stud who can rake.
Not Gillaspie nor Beckham,
And Mike Olt is a fake.

Sanchez and Saladino
Have gloves that are nifty.
Is it too much to expect
That they hit two-fifty?

Imposing Avi Garcia
Was once considered Miggy's clone.
An exciting thought to be sure,
Until he enlarged his strike zone.

Adam Eaton hit leadoff;
He averaged over two-eighty.
His fielding is adequate,
His base running a bit crazy.

One bright spot emerged
In a Thompson named Trayce.
He can hit and he's fast;
What's he doing in this place?

Another shining light
Is pitcher Carlos Rodon.
But who's going to catch him?
It's still the same old song.

Changes are needed,
But it's tough to see them.
They could have axed Robin,
And brought back Guillen.

The team is so broken;
The repair will take time.
Certainly far longer
Than writing this rhyme.

But take heart, Sox fans,
Hold off on your discord.
No doubt you're going to love
The giant new video boards.

Despite all the folly
That make us want to scream,
When it's all said and done
The Sox are still our team.

-

Roger Wallenstein is our man on the Sox. He welcomes your comments.

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