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The Ryan Sweeney Era Is So Cub

"Sweeney Finding His Groove As Everyday Player" says just about all there is to say about the current state of the Cubs.

First, he's Ryan Sweeney.

Second, he's only getting playing time because David DeJesus got hurt.

Third, he's only on the Cubs because the Red Sox didn't add him to their 40-man roster coming out of spring training.

Fourth, the Red Sox were his third organization - at age 28.

Fifth, the White Sox were his first organization; he was there for three years.

Sixth, he had some decent seasons in Oakland. And yet, they dumped him.

Seventh, any time someone in a Cubs uniform gets hot, he's a candidate to be traded at his highest value. Ryan Sweeney is now, sadly, at his highest value.

Eighth, the Cubs can't have nice things. See "Seventh."

Ninth, he's really enjoying being a Chicago Cub.

Tenth, he's Ryan Sweeney.

Week in Review: The Cubs lost three of four to the Cardinals before taking two of three from the Astros, which was just as embarrassing because it's the Astros.

Week in Preview: The Cubs get three in Milwaukee in the battle to stay out of the NL Central cellar before traveling to Seattle for three. Don't bother staying up - even for the 3:15 p.m. game on Sunday.

The Second Basemen Report: Darwin Barney managed to raise his batting average by 16 points this week to .230, largely on the strength of a 3-for-4 game, while leaving more men on base (10) than Gomer Pyle in an epic snafu.

In former second basemen news, Ronny Cedeno is not only still in the major leagues, but he beat the Cubs with a squeeze in the ninth on Saturday.

Wishing Upon A Starlin: Starlin Castro lost 13 points on his batting average this week and 13 points on his OBP, which puts his slash line at .228/.264/.318. His career average is now .287 with a .325 OBP. He also committed four more errors this week, including two on Sunday, for a season total of 14.

The Legend of Dioner Navarro: Went 0-for-1 as a pinch-hitter; 1-for-4 as a starter.

Deserted Cubs: Tony Campana has his batting average up to .298 and his OBP up to .358 at Reno. He's 22-for-26 in stolen bases. Will he be wearing a Diamondbacks uniform when the Cubs visit in July?

Bullpen Bullshit: Do it now.

Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares of Cubs Runs plunged when the market opened this morning because they've obviously used them all up.

Sveum's Shadow: Dale Sveum's Five O'Clock Shadow moved to 11 p.m. this week but fell back to 10 p.m. when his team banged out 14 runs on Sunday. When it gets to midnight, his head explodes.

Shark Tank: 92 pitches in seven innings, which is better; nine hits but no walks. Also, he sent a message this week.

Jumbotron Preview: Six thousand square feet of Starlin Soriano.

Kubs Kalender: Wait 'til next year 2016.

Over/Under: Starts until Matt Garza is hurt again traded: 2.5.

Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that even the Cubs' best players are overrated.

The Cub Factor: Unlike Alfonso Soriano, you can catch 'em all!

The White Sox Report: Know the enemy.

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The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #145: The Butt Fumble Bears

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Posted on Mar 24, 2017

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