The Return of the Crosstown Classic Crucible!

Participating this go-around: Cub Factor correspondent Marty Gangler, White Sox Report correspondent Ricky O'Donnell, and Twins fan Steve Rhodes.

1. What are the chances of a White Sox sweep?

GANGLER: Like I said last week, there is a 3 percent chance of anything happening.

O'DONNELL: Well, either it's going to happen or it's not going to happen so . . . 50/50. Duh.

RHODES: The same chance Mayor Daley changes his mind about the Children's Museum.

2. What are the chances of a Cubs sweep?

GANGLER: See No. 1.

O'DONNELL: See No. 1.

RHODES: See No. 1.

3. Who will Ozzie offend next?

GANGLER: You know how the Sox have that take your dog to the ballpark day? I think Ozzie is going to somehow offend the dogs.

O'DONNELL: All of rap nation.

RHODES: Himself. And then he'll refuse to apologize.

4. Which player outside of A.J. is most likely to be the villain?

GANGLER: That Cuban Missile guy.

O'DONNELL: Dude, at The Cell, A.J. is a hero. The villain clearly has to be a Cubs player, so let's go with Edmonds. No one likes that guy anyway.

RHODES: Dude, at The Cell A.J. is a hero because he's a villain. But yes, Edmonds.

5. Who is more unlistenable, Ron Santo or Hawk Harrelson?

GANGLER: Put it on the board . . . NOOOooooo!!! Let's put Steve Stone and Pat Hughes together and make them do both sides of town's games. Everyone will get smarter that way.

O'DONNELL: I'll take the guy with legs.

RHODES: Harrelson actually watches the game, but Santo never says "duck snort." So it's a push.

6. Odds of a Red Line derailment.

GANGLER: 97 percent. It's just the opposite of the 3 percent chance of it NOT derailing.

O'DONNELL: Slightly greater than the chance of a Blue Line derailment.

RHODES: O'Donnell is stealing my material.

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Previously:
* The Crosstown Classic Crucible