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* Couldn't activate Ventra card.
* Phobic about Jumbotrons.
* Found out Old Style was being replaced.
* Shaken by Ryan Sweeney signing.
* The schools his kids would have gone to were closed.
* Starting third baseman Luis Valbuena.
* Even though he's really smart, he still can't spell Samardzija.
* Something about a pet goat.
* Ronnie Woo-Woo still has some voice left.
* Job required donation to Rahm's campaign fund.
* Heard Cubs were bringing Koyie Hill back.
* Cubs wouldn't spring for a separate airplane seat for his binder on road trips.
* Joe Ricketts insisted on pegging his salary to the gold standard.
* ESPN commercials with him in Yankee uniform already in the can.
* Got back on his meds and realized he almost made a terrible mistake.
- Marty Gangler, Steve RhodesMore from Beachwood Sports »
The ultimate homer directs a lovefest as ridiculous and far from the truth as his broadcasts.Continue reading "Hawk Harrelson Goes Out As Awfully As He Broadcasted" »
Posted on Sep 17, 2018