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The Dusty & Ozzie Show 2008!

Now that Dusty is back in a dugout in Cincinnati - and still spouting weird theories that are driving Reds fans nuts - we thought it would be fun to bring The Dusty & Ozzie Show back from its popular run in 2006. After all, Ozzie hasn't changed either.

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And now we close out the season on The Dusty & Ozzie Show with this final gem:

No "I" in Ozzie's Team, but a You, September 26: "Orlando is a big part of this ballclub, and if we're going to win, we win as a team. If we lose, well, he's the first guy to look at because he's the only guy that's played almost every day."

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Ozzie Still Whining, September 16: "We're in the pennant race? Not really," Guillen said sarcastically. "There are a couple people [who believe that], but the Cubs are in the pennant race, and we're not. Maybe people feel different, but I feel that way. It was harder for us and we had a tougher season than they had from the beginning. They dominate the league, the division. That's why Chicago people feel sure about the Cubs going and we're not."

Um, what? The next time you're the best team in your league and you haven't won a World Series in 100 years, give us a call and we'll see how much attention you get. Meanwhile, just tend to your crappy little half-game leads over the Twins.

Dusty's Formula, September 8: "Baker's Winning Formula? Big Money, Good Players."

Mine too!

"Asked what it takes to win in Chicago, Baker quickly said, 'Have a good team. That's what you need. An outstanding team.'"

Yes. A team good enough that any manager could win with!

Ozzie Headhunter, September 2: Joe Cowley writing in the Sun-Times: "Manager Ozzie Guillen - never one to pull punches - seemed put off by the situation, calling both players out loudly in the clubhouse by insisting that if Lee had such a problem he should've hit Pierzynski, and if Pierzynski had a problem with the hurler, he should've just charged the mound."

From August 4: "A.J. Pierzynski said. 'Ozzie doesn't play like that, we don't play like that, this organization doesn't play like that. We're not going to start hitting guys.'"

Ozzie the Pundit, August 30: In response to noted Sox fan Barack Obama criticizing Cubs fans, Ozzie had this to say: "I have to tell people in Chicago, don't misunderstand what he wants to say. A lot of people will say if you go to vote for him, all of the sudden you're a Sox fan."

Really?! Name three. Three of the stupidest people on the face of the Earth.

"Some people out there are ignorant and say, 'We're not going to vote for him because he's a White Sox fan.' That will happen."

Oh Lord.

"I don't think he needs the White Sox fans' vote."

Unless they're white, working-class women.

Catching Dusty, August 24: "The Reds say they want to give rookie catcher Ryan Hangian a good look down the stretch, but when Edinson Volquez or Johnny Cueto are starting, it's always veteran Paul Bako crouched behind the plate."

Sigh.

Dusty Dust, August 23: "With his team at 56-72 going into last night's game at Colorado and mired in last place in the National League Central Division, Cincinnati manager Dusty Baker said things would get better even though the Reds were closing in on their eighth consecutive losing season.

"We're going to get this together," Baker said. "I'm convinced of it. We're going to do it."

As Cubs fans know, hope is not a strategy.

Dusty's Blame Game, August 17: "For the first time since 1983, the Cincinnati Reds may finish in last place, in Dusty Baker's first season as manager. He apparently would like you to know he is not the problem.

"'This is Wayne Krivsky's team, not Walt Jocketty's and not mine,' Baker told the Dayton Daily News."

Familiar Excuses, August 17: "It ain't right that teams come in here, like Houston and these guys (St. Louis) and hit more home runs than us. I was warned about this place at this time of year but I hadn't seen it until now," Dusty says, recycling the supposed home field disadvantage bit he used while here. "[Pete Rose] said good pitchers won't come here and you can't win in this ballpark because of the way the ball flies."

All About Dusty, August 17: "Over the course of the years, I was looking it up, and St. Louis and Houston have beaten up on the Reds," said Baker. "That's No. 1. That can't happen, not in this division. I ain't going for that. Me and Tony hook up pretty good. I think I'm ahead or we're pretty close to even head-to-head."

Dusty Ducks, August 9: "Baker's postgame press gatherings are getting shorter and shorter, 'Because, like I say, I don't know what to say. We have two choices. We can give up or keep fighting. We're still fighting. I'm running out of things to come up with to say.'"

Poor Pitiful Ozzie, August 7: Ozzie just never gets enough credit. "It's funny how people look at it," says the most vain, insecure, sensitive, self-absorbed manager in all of sports. "I win 400-something games, and Joey [Cora] wins one game and he got more credit than me. I win 11 big ones, and I got people putting in my e-mail: 'You should stay in your office of whatever you did [Tuesday] night."

Ozzie the Head-Hunter, August 4: "You think I'm going to bring in somebody to hit somebody with an 82-mile-an-hour fastball?"

Well, yes. You're trying to hit a guy, not hurt him.

"That's the baseball I grew up with, not the shit we play right now. We didn't even hit him. I should have, to teach them a lesson on how to play baseball."

I thought that was how you played Ozzie - you know, like a man. Didn't you send a guy to the minors last year for failing to hit a batter?

"I know we were losing, but we don't pull that stuff," A.J. Pierzynski said. "Ozzie doesn't play like that, we don't play like that, this organization doesn't play like that. We're not going to start hitting guys."

Right.

"[Two weeks ago], I told Carrasco to hit him," Ozzie said.

Throwing A.J. under the bus!

"This time, no, I'm a professional. If they think we hit him on purpose, they are wrong."

See, the thing is, you lose the benefit of the doubt when you're known as a head-hunter.

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"I've hit people before on purpose," said Guillen. "Yes I have. Because that's my job. Protect my players."

But all it really does is put his players in more danger. And someone - White Sox or not - could lose a career as a result.

Dusty Ruins Two Seasons At Once, August 4: "Asked if it isn't about time to think about next year and tinker with things, Baker said, 'Not for me. Most of the guys who are pretty close to being major-league players are here already and have been most of the year. It isn't like we have 10 prospects at Triple-A who are ready to take a job up here."

Right. So Dusty pines for Jerry Hairston Jr. to heal up and get back into the lineup, and wastes at-bats on Corey Patterson (.195). So, so familiar.

"'I always want to win, no matter who I put out there. It has been only a few seasons that I went into September and it didn't mean anything.'"

I.

(And only a few?)

"In our division, a lot can turn around in a hurry. If you get hot, man, I've seen it. People think I'm the eternal optimist, but I can be that because I've seen that and done that. You try to finish as high as you can finish."

Instead of thinking about the organization's future.

"These are primo times for somebody. When you are playing inside your division the last two months as much as we are, well, it might as well be us."

So, so familiar . . .

Bonus Dusty: "[Jay] Bruce smiled when it was mentioned he was dropped from third to seventh on this night because Parra might have been too tough.

"'Dusty has no evidence as to why he shouldn't do that, but I know that I'll have no problems with lefties soon enough.'"

The Dusty Nostalgia Tour, August 3: Dusty's reference points remain the olden days. Here's what he had to say about a players-only meeting the Reds called:

- "As long as they ask for permission, which they did/ We used to do that [with the Dodgers], except we didn't ask for permission. We just kicked [Tommy] Lasorda out."

- "I remember [former Giants manager] Roger Craig telling me as a coach, 'Don't let your players hold meetings. It looks like you've lost the team,'"

- "If I'm not in there, I'm hoping everybody has something to say. We have some young guys. Sometimes they need to hear it from a player. We heard it from Hank [Aaron]."

Bonus Dusty quote: "I think we overmeet as a society."

Public Ozzie #1, July 31: Whatever it was Ozzie was screaming at Minnesota Twins fans from the top step of the dugout was surely imbecilic. Still looking for a report.

Ozzie's Straw Critics, July 30: "Everything I do in this town is fight for my players. And everyone likes to hammer and hammer and hammer how horseshit I am."

Really? Name names.

"I don't give a fuck what they think."

All evidence to the contrary. If that was so, you wouldn't keep insisting up on it.

"I don't understand the people out there. I don't get it. I sit with [Kenny Williams] and we try to do stuff and all of a sudden we get pounded like we don't try or don't care to do good for the fans or for us. And I don't get it."

I know! Why don't fans worship you more? You try!

"I'm going to rip a lot of people apart if we win this thing this year. Enough is enough."

Does that mean we can rip you apart if you don't?

Classy to the end.

Dusty Justice, July 23 "I thought about starting Corey," Baker said. "But his last two starts would be against CC (Sabathia of the Brewers) and Peavy. That's not fair."

Maybe sometimes it's harder to play against worse competition.

Dusty Logic, July 22: "'Every time he doesn't get a hit, his odds of getting a hit go up every time,' Baker said of his shortstop."

Advance Scouting 101, July 22: "Still inexplicable is the Reds penchant for playing to the level of the competition - good against teams with records above .500 (32-29) and bad against teams with records below .500 (16-23). The next 12 games are against poor-record teams - San Diego, Colorado, Houston, Washington.

"Baker said it is sometimes more difficult to play teams like the Padres. 'They have about 10 new guys and we don't know much about 'em. It's like September call-ups. You can't overlook anybody, especially teams like San Diego that you don't know much about."

All About Dusty, July 20: "Beyond the obvious benefit to his ledger, though, Baker believes it would be 'good for the organization and the town' if the Reds produce their first winning season since 2000."

Ozzie the Professional, July 20: "It's a funny thing about it. I like people when they are good. I don't like people when they are [bad] and they are cocky. When you are good and cocky, that's fine with me. But when you aren't that good and you try to pretend like you are that good," he said to an MLB.com reporter. "He showed a couple of my players up, and I don't like that. He showed my dugout up in that inning and that's why I screamed at him. The only reason I was screaming is because he was not professional."

Dusty's Law, July 17: "The law of averages is on our side . . . big-time," Baker said of facing Johan Santana and the Mets, who had won nine straight going into Thursday.

Memo to Dusty: The law of talent is indifferent to the law of averages. (The Mets won 10-8).

Dusty's Schoolhouse, July 6: "[H]is lineup construction and in-game decisions make him an easy target for critics . . . Baker craves speed at the top of the lineup, even if it means using Patterson and his .293 career on-base percentage. He also asked three of his best power hitters - Edwin Encarnacion, Dunn and Votto - to bunt late in games because 'that's how I was taught to play.' Never mind that all three are capable of moving runners over and driving them in with one swing. Encarnacion and Dunn did just that: Each failed to execute a sacrifice bunt, then hit a game-ending home run."

Jealousy, June 21: "The unfortunate thing for me is it's a shame that a certain segment of Chicago refused to enjoy a baseball championship being brought to their city. The only thing I can say is, 'Happy anniversary,'" said White Sox GM Kenny Williams, putting the ball on the tee (and as if Chicago didn't properly appreciate the 2005 World Series. What more do you want us to do, award you free blowjobs for life?)

And then Ozzie swung.

"Happy anniversary . . . it's the truth. People need to think about the way we feel. They celebrate not winning for all that time, and they don't appreciate us winning. Kenny was right. I don't understand why people are making a big deal of it. Everyone is allowed to state an opinion, and Kenny has the right to say what he wants to about it. One thing about it, especially around here, people don't like to hear the truth.''

The truth as Ozzie sees it?

"People think that we dwell on it all day, but we don't,'' Guillen said before dwelling on it. ''We're just stating facts. We know we will never be respected like the Cubs - we won't. All we ask is just be fair with our organization. You love the Cubs more here, fine, but be fair. You don't have to like us, you don't have to love us, our players expect that. It's not a jealousy or us feeling like we're the second part of the city, because we know that already."

Um, respect is the last word I would use to describe the way people have felt about the Cubs - especially their fans.

''But like in the paper every day, 'This day, 1908, this happened for the Cubs,' and you see it over and over and over. I think the Cubs have been to the playoffs more than us and they haven't done anything. I'm not criticizing the players, the organization or the fans, but be fair."

Yes, the media should ignore the 100th anniversary of the Cubs not winning a World Series. They should recap the Black Sox season instead.

''We're the second-class citizens? No shit. Nobody has to tell us that. But in the meanwhile, our owner, our general manager, our organization does a lot of great things here and no one gives us enough credit. Just show us respect.''

Maybe show us some maturity first.

Curses, June 12: "I don't believe in that. I've heard enough of that shit in Chicago," Baker said. "Sometimes it's outfielders, sometimes it's pitchers if that was the case, I was cursed before I got here because Gonzo was hurt was before I got here."

On the occasion of injuries to former Cub Jerry Hairston Jr. and Alex Gonzalez - not that Alex Gonzalez, the other one, but still.

Position Play, June 12: Baker was asked if he'd consider moving Brandon Phillips to shortstop.

"No," Baker said. "I know everybody says that, and he could probably do it, but how many guys do you want out of position? You want one or you want two or three?"

From the man who played Todd Walker at first.

Deja Vomit Vu, June 12: With Hairston on the DL, Baker went with Jay Bruce in the leadoff position "through process of elimination."

"I just talked to him about my experience with batting leadoff, and just hit the same," Baker said. "I know he's not your prototypical leadoff hitter, but neither is Hanley Ramirez, Bobby Bonds, Alfonso Soriano . . . Chris Young."

Just hit the same, Jay Bruce. A two-fer!

Don't say we didn't warn you, Reds fans.

Deja Vomit, June 12: "Boy, Jerry was doing a hell of a job," Baker said. "I'm going to have to get Corey (Patterson) in there sometime because he's starting to swing the bat good again."

Oy.

Dusty Belicheck, June 10: "This ain't the NFL," Baker said, shrouding injuries in mystery just like he did in Chicago.

Dusty the Road Warrior, June 8: "I always thought, as a player, that it was easier to play on the road," Baker said.

'People think that we dwell on it all day, but we don't,'' Guillen said before dwelling on it. ''We're just stating facts. We know we will never be respected like the Cubs - we won't. All we ask is just be fair with our organization. You love the Cubs more here, fine, but be fair. You don't have to like us, you don't have to love us, our players expect that. It's not a jealousy or us feeling like we're the second part of the city, because we know that already."

Um, respect is the last word I would use to describe the way people have felt about the Cubs - especially their fans.

''But like in the paper every day, 'This day, 1908, this happened for the Cubs,' and you see it over and over and over. I think the Cubs have been to the playoffs more than us and they haven't done anything. I'm not criticizing the players, the organization or the fans, but be fair."

Yes, the media should ignore the 100th anniversary of the Cubs not winning a World Series. They should recap the Black Sox season instead.

''We're the second-class citizens? No shit. Nobody has to tell us that. But in the meanwhile, our owner, our general manager, our organization does a lot of great things here and no one gives us enough credit. Just show us respect.''

Maybe show us some maturity first.

Curses, June 12: "I don't believe in that. I've heard enough of that shit in Chicago," Baker said. "Sometimes it's outfielders, sometimes it's pitchers if that was the case, I was cursed before I got here because Gonzo was hurt was before I got here."

On the occasion of injuries to former Cub Jerry Hairston Jr. and Alex Gonzalez - not that Alex Gonzalez, the other one, but still.

Position Play, June 12: Baker was asked if he'd consider moving Brandon Phillips to shortstop.

"No," Baker said. "I know everybody says that, and he could probably do it, but how many guys do you want out of position? You want one or you want two or three?"

From the man who played Todd Walker at first.

Deja Vomit Vu, June 12: With Hairston on the DL, Baker went with Jay Bruce in the leadoff position "through process of elimination."

"I just talked to him about my experience with batting leadoff, and just hit the same," Baker said. "I know he's not your prototypical leadoff hitter, but neither is Hanley Ramirez, Bobby Bonds, Alfonso Soriano . . . Chris Young."

Just hit the same, Jay Bruce. A two-fer!

Don't say we didn't warn you, Reds fans.

Deja Vomit, June 12: "Boy, Jerry was doing a hell of a job," Baker said. "I'm going to have to get Corey (Patterson) in there sometime because he's starting to swing the bat good again."

Oy.

He's the only one. No wonder the Cubs' home record sucked when he was here.

"All you've got to do is worry about eating and going to the ballpark, basically. You can turn your phone off if you want. You don't have to worry about kids waking you up . . . Your life is simplified."

All you have to do is wait at the airport, breathe crappy airplane air, change time zones, stay in unfamiliar hotels, cope with visiting locker rooms where nothing is where you are used to, and play in unfamiliar ballparks before hostile crowds. It's a snap.

Same Old Strategy, June 8: "our team was built for our strategy - as a power-hitting team," Baker said. "We're a team that really depends on home runs. Sometimes, balls don't go out on the road as well as they go out at our park."

Generally Managing, June 8:"If Baker can keep his office door locked, he plans to give Ken Griffey Jr. today off.

"'I'm going to try, but he'll fight me,' said Baker. 'He's still sore and it's a day game after a night game. It'll be the last chance before our next day off because we go home to play St. Louis and Boston and I want him in there.'"

Dusty will try, but he's only the manager. The players make the decision. Hey, Sammy Sosa would look good in a Reds uniform!

Dusty's Demos, June 6: "Watch all the kids and how they gravitate toward me," Baker said. "The people I get along best with, honestly, are elderly people and young people. The people that don't like me most of the time are people my own age, because I don't think like them."

Baker, by the way, blames a San Francisco radio guy for fixing him unfairly with the "veteran's guy" tag, but I think we saw enough around here to know that it's true.

"If you think Baker was oblivious to the surplus of young talent when he signed a three-year deal in October, guess again.

"'Heck yeah, that was one of the things that sold me,' Baker said. 'It was one of the things that sold me [with the Cubs]. Before I go someplace, I ask somebody to research for me what they got coming.'

"For those who suggest he's anti-youth, Baker points out that he has run a baseball school in California the past 25 years and has a 9-year-old son, Darren, scampering around the house. Though Baker's teams in San Francisco generally were veteran-oriented, he'd find a place for a Royce Clayton here and a Marvin Benard or Darren Lewis there if they were ready to contribute. He did the same in Chicago for Matt Murton and Ronny Cedeno."

Brrrriiiiinggggggg! It's reality calling: It wants Jerry Crasnick to come home immediately.

Lineup Lunacy, June 5: Forced by injuries to bring Corey Patterson back up to the big leagues, Dusty promptly wrote his name into the two-hole in the lineup. "Corey gives me the speed I need," Baker said.

Indeed. Patterson walked very quickly back to the dugout after going 0-4 with a strikeout.

Ozzie's Other Empty Threat, June 3: For the billionth time.

"Sometimes I create my own problems. That's me. I'm going to say what I have to say. Some people say the same stuff I say, but they don't get attacked like I do.

"I love this job, don't get me wrong. But sometimes it's like, wow, is it worth it to put up with this stuff?"

Ozzie's Empty Threat, June 1 & 3: Oooh, we're scared.

On Sunday: "I expect Kenny to do something Tuesday. Because if we don't do anything Tuesday, there's [going to be] a lot of change in the lineup.

On Tuesday: "I put the lineup the way it should be. I didn't make any changes because I still believe."

Killer Corey, May 28: Corey Patterson was demoted to the minors.

"It was a mutual decision," Baker told the Dayton Daily News. "I was going to call Corey in to talk to me, and he came in before I could call him in. He said, 'Hey, I have to get my act together and change some things.' He knows and we know he's better than the way he's playing. He's got skill. He's got talent. He's only 28 years old. It's a good move to go down, stay awhile and get his stuff together.

"He's still one of the best runners in the game. He's got an outstanding throwing arm. He's an outstanding outfielder. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can make a change. I'm not just going on whether I like or dislike somebody. No, I like the skill. I know skill when I see skill. I know talent when I see talent. If he was 35, it might be different."

The move meant that Reds fans finally got to see the player they had been clamoring for, Jay Bruce, regarded as the top prospect in baseball. In his first three games, Bruce went 4-for-9 with two doubles, three runs, four walks, and two stolen bases.

Dusty Deja Vu, May 21: "Once again, the Reds seem to be road vagabonds, not even close to being kings of the road. Lose, lose, lose. If Baker could fix it, he would. What's a manager to do?

"'We've covered this,' he said. 'No. 1, get the lead and then keep it. This has gone on before I came here. It is hard to change things overnight. It's an attitude, a mindset, and I haven't put my finger on it yet," he added. "I'm still really assessing things. I'm trying to decipher a lot of things."

Bonus Dusty Deja Vu: "Yes it's a concern," Reds manager Dusty Baker said of his team's 7-17 road mark. "But we play for the home run. Every other ball park is bigger than ours and we're going to have to change the form of this club in order to have a chance to win."

Dusty Don't Care, May 21: "Managers were on a conference call Wednesday concerning orders for umpires to enforce rules to speed up games, and Baker said, 'Hey, man, I ain't got no opinion on this because they don't ask me, and it doesn't matter what I say. Not one bit. You have to talk to somebody who can make a difference.'"

Um, I think the point of the conference call was to solicit input from managers.

Dusty's Still Dusty, May 11: "Based on his offensive numbers this season, putting struggling Reds center fielder Corey Patterson in the leadoff spot seems to be the equivalent of putting the square peg in the round hole," MLB.com reports.

"Yet for the 21st time in his 22 starts this season, Patterson was perched at the top of the order on Monday vs. the Marlins. Coming in, he was batting just .196 with a .252 on-base percentage over 34 games. That included a 2-for-18 skid . . .

"What makes it kind of rough is I'm trying to stay away from too many left-handers in a row," Baker said. "He's going to get going. Usually guys end up where their average always is. Jacoby is working with him. We don't have a bunch of speed. We need speed, especially in close games."

Ozzie vs. the World, May 10: "And if we win it all again, oh man, I will be so cocky this time they won't be able to stand my ass. I will rub it in people's faces."

Ozzie Guillen: Always classy.

Ozzie vs. Lou, May 8: "Who's the manager they remember the most? Billy Martin. They don't remember Sparky Anderson. They remember Billy Martin because he was the crazy one. Why do you think people like Lou Piniella? Because Lou is good? Great guy. Great baseball people. But people love Lou Piniella because he's fucked up."

Um, I think people love Lou Piniella because he was a popular Yankee as a player who has gone on to amass a career managerial record of 1,612-1,502 career managerial record over 20 years, including a World Series win.

And people these days think of Joe Torre when they think of Yankees managers, not Billy Martin.

Deja Dusty, May 7: "Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker gave shortstop Jeff Keppinger a day off, while placing Corey Patterson and Jerry Hairston Jr. at the top of the batting order."

Ozzie vs. Women, Fans, Himself, May 5: "I got real thick skin."

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"Before Sunday's game, an unnamed player positioned two nude female blow-up dolls in the clubhouse with bats belonging to most of the players fanned out around them, almost resembling a voodoo ritual to get the club going and loosen up a suddenly uptight clubhouse," the Sun-Times reports.

"Several Toronto newspapers made it a big deal, and the Sox were feeling the backlash by Monday afternoon. If those offended were expecting an apology from Guillen, however, they must not know him very well."

And we're off . . .

"One hundred percent of the people in the clubhouse are 18 years old, and that's a private thing," Ozzie said. "If the players do it in the dugout where everyone can see or in the hotel lobby - we did it in our clubhouse, and a lot of things happen in the clubhouse. I don't really know why people are making it a big deal. If people got their feelings hurt because of that . . . they don't really know much about baseball

''I don't think they should make a big deal out of it because that's our clubhouse, and I don't think there's anything illegal there. I'm not going to apologize and not [going to] make the players apologize. It used to [be], whatever was in the clubhouse stayed in the clubhouse, and then all the [bleep] changed. But I don't think we did anything wrong to make people upset.

''Those toys, don't worry, we [still] got our ass kicked. Hopefully we come up with something better. We don't need dolls. We need hits. People get mad, hey.

''I'll take the blame . . . because of who I am. I said early in the season, 'Ozzie has to be Ozzie.' They want to make a big deal about it in Chicago because of me and my team, good for them. At least they have something to talk about.

''When I leave Chicago, they're going to miss me because a lot of people aren't going to make a lot of money off of me. Because they talk a lot of [bleep] about Ozzie. Keep it up. Now they have something to write and talk, big deal. They're going to miss me, but I'm not going to miss them.''

Yep. Thick skin.

*

"Well, whoever did it spent a lot of money," said Ozzie. "That's the type of guys we have."

Ozzie vs. Chicago, May 4: "One day after joking that his son Oney could play second base, Guillen went on a tirade after a reporter jokingly asked him if Class A outfielder John Shelby Jr. could get promoted after hitting three home runs in a game," the Sun-Times reports.

"Right now everyone in Chicago is making lineups - 'Call up this guy, call up that guy,' " Guillen said Sunday morning in a profanity-laced end to a pregame interview.

"If we had 50 people allowed on the roster, we could do that. That's what ticks me off about Chicago fans and Chicago media: They forget pretty quickly. A couple of days ago we were the [bleeping] best [stuff] in town. Now we're [bleep]."

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"We won it a couple years ago, and we're horse[bleep]," Guillen said sarcastically before the Sox (14-15) lost to the Blue Jays 4-3 and fell below .500 for the first time since April 3.

"The Cubs haven't won in [100] years, and they're the [bleeping] best. [Bleep] it, we're good. [Bleep] everybody. We're horse[bleep], and we're going to be horse[bleep] the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win.

"We have the worst owner (Jerry Reinsdorf). The guy's got seven [bleeping] rings, and he's the [bleeping] horse[bleep] owner."

-

"How about the Cubs celebrating that Lee Elia bull[bleep]? How many times do I curse people out? I will make a lot of money with my [stuff]. I have to keep going because in the future Ozzie will need money, and I can say, 'Here, give me money, here's the 10-year anniversary of my time I called [Jay] Mariotti stuff and the time I went on the radio and cursed out Mike North.'

"Yeah, we have to celebrate all that [stuff] too. But I won't be around for 10 years, believe me."

Ozzie vs. His Coaches, May 3: "'That's not going to happen,'' Guillen said of a possible coaching change to try to remedy the slumping offense. ''To be honest with you, I don't think we need coaches."

Dusty vs. Lou, April 12: "Your job is to manage the game," Dusty said. "Your boys shouldn't need you to get kicked out to get motivated. That's my opinion."

Ozzie With A Straight Face, April 12: "We're not the type of club to complain about every pitch," Ozzie says. "Umpires are human and will make mistakes."

Ozzie vs. Umpires, April 11: "I got fined a lot of money," Ozzie said of the fines associated with his Opening Day ejection for arguing balls and strikes with umpire Phil Cuzzo. "I could have bought big land in Venezuela with that money."

Ozzie vs. Canseco, April 11: "Tell Jose [Canseco] to get a job and leave the game alone," Ozzie said. "I get tired of people who have left the game and come out with that stuff. It's unprofessional. He could have made a lot of money with a book on hitting or a book about his life and his family. But people like to make money on negative stuff."

Dusty vs. Reality, April 9: "We finished last. That's not me," Dusty said of his time in Chicago. As of this writing on May 5, his Reds are in last place.

Dusty vs. Chicago, April 9: Via Dusty acolyte Chris Speier: "It's very, very harsh in Chicago. I don't think there's a manager who has been there who hasn't said Chicago, especially with the North Side fans and the media, can be brutally harsh and sometimes unfairly harsh. I'll be the first to say it. I think the media was completely unfair with Dusty. I think it was the media's doing that basically caused the change."

Dusty vs. the Lord, March 12: "Maybe I was chosen for this situation. It seems like I've been in and out of something like this my whole life. Sometimes you ask the Lord, Why me? Then you get the answer: Why not me?"

It's All About you, Dusty, March 12: "I wasn't used to that, especially when in your own mind you believe you have the Midas touch. Then when that Midas touch isn't working, you realize how much is out of your control."

It's All About You, Dusty, March 3: "I was on the (Los Angeles) Dodgers' all-time team as an outfielder. I was on the all-time San Francisco Giants' team as the manager. I started out great in Chicago and then ended up on the all-nothing team. I'm not used to that."

Dusty Baker, Baseball Genius, Feb 24: "On-base percentage, that's fine and dandy. But a lot of times guys get so much into on-base percentage that they cease to swing. It's becoming a little bit out of control . . . The name of the game is scoring runs. Sometimes, you get so caught up in on-base percentage that you're clogging up the bases."

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All Is Not Forgiven, John Fox & Co.

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Posted on Dec 11, 2017

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