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The Cubs Answer Men #4

The last two months we've been answering some of your questions about the upcoming Chicago Cubs World Series. Since that original column, we've gotten many more questions. We don't have room to answer all of them here today, but we'll try to get through them before the parade in November.

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"T" writes: My neighbor is one of those cynical Cubs fans. He thinks they are going to blow it again this year. Please reassure him and tell him that we have nothing to worry about it.

R&D: Don't worry. Being a Cub means achieving the impossible. After all, Cubs great Hack Wilson became an alcoholic during Prohibition.

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"B" writes: Why does everyone consider the Cubs a pathetic franchise? Shouldn't they get credit for being in the World Series 10 times (1906, 1907, 1908, 1910, 1918, 1929, 1932, 1935, 1938, 1945)?

R&D: So true. Although, let's be honest, they only won two of those ten Series'. And . . . two more of them were during war years (1918, 1945). In 1918, the season ended on September 1st, which means the Cubs didn't get a chance to blow it in their most unsuccessful month. In 1945, the only guys playing in MLB were the guys who couldn't serve in the military - and the military was taking almost everyone. Also, in two other World Series appearances the Cubs were swept in four games (1932 and 1938) by the Yankees. But your point is well taken. Ten times in 39 years is pretty impressive. If only the world had ended in 1945.

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"L" writes: Don't you think the Tribune Company should buy a round of drinks for everyone at the ballpark when the Cubs clinch it? It's the least they can do for us after the miserable excuse for baseball teams they've put on the field most of the years they've owned it.

R&D: Great idea. At $6 a pop for a Bud Light, that comes out to a measly $240,000. That's still almost a fourth of what they're paying Will Ohman this year.

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"L" writes: I'm starting to get a little worried. What if God doesn't want the Cubs to win. What kind of wrath or vengeance should we expect if they do?

R&D: Nothing happened when the Red Sox won it in 2004 . . . except for another Bush presidency. And nothing happened during 2005 when the White Sox won it . . . except for that one tiny little hurricane that devastated an entire American city. We have absolutely nothing to worry about.

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"F" writes: When the Cubs go to the World Series will Illinois Governor/Cubs Fan Blagojevich throw out the first pitch, or will it be Chicago Mayor/Sox fan Richard Daley?

R&D: Neither one of them will risk becoming such an easy target for grand jury subpoenas.

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"D" writes: I'm a little worried that this Cubs team isn't as tough as the last Cubs championship team. What are your thoughts?

R&D: Both teams are plenty tough . . . they even fought against each other. This year the Cubs had two players who fought in the clubhouse. Michael Barrett ended up with a black eye, and was traded away. The 1908 Cubs fought in the clubhouse too. In a fit of anger, Heinie Zimmerman threw a bottle of ammonia at his teammate Jimmy Sheckard, which almost blinded him. The rest of the team turned on Zimmerman and, led by manager Frank Chance, beat the living crap out of him. He was injured so badly he was out for a month, but he remained a Cub for another four years. You make the call. Who was tougher?

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Previously:
* The Cubs Answer Men #1: Rule changes and parade seating.

* The Cubs Answer Men #2: Dress codes and left nuts.

* The Cubs Answer Men #3: Parking, beer and Lutherans.

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Originally appearing at Half Empty. If you have any other questions about how to handle the World Series, feel free to send them to Rick and Dave. Between now and the big parade they'll try to get to as many of your questions as they can.

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