Subscribe to the Newsletter

The Cubs Answer Men #3

Now that the Cubs have actually been in first place during August, the Cubs answer men are getting flooded with questions about the upcoming Chicago Cubs World Series. We don't have room to answer all of them here today, but we'll try to get through them before the parade in November.

"Q" writes: I know the first Model T was released one week before the last Cubs World Series championship. Did this have any effect on the attendance at the 1908 Series?

R&D: Nah. There wasn't any parking in the neighborhood then either.

"F" writes: "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" was written the year the Cubs last won the World Series. When we win it again this year, will it be replaced by a song from this year?

R&D: It has to be. After all, a growing number of children have peanut (and cracker-jack) allergies.

"C" writes: The Cubs were in the World Series during Prohibition (1929). What did they serve at the concession stands that year?

R&D: $6 O'Douls.

"D" writes: Do you think God has finally forgiven the Cubs for building Wrigley Field on the site of a Lutheran Seminary?

R&D: The most Lutheran country in the world is Germany. Let's compare and contrast the record of Germany over the last century to the record of the Cubs. Notice any similarities?

"W" writes: When the Cubs win the World Series and we all storm the field to celebrate, the cops aren't really going to arrest all 40,000 of us, are they?

R&D: No. They won't waste their time. Anyone who is rich enough to afford World Series tickets probably has their connected lawyer on speed-dial.

"L" writes: We'd like to honor this year's Cubs World Series Champions by celebrating at the location of their last championship: West Side Grounds. Can you tell us where to go?

R&D: Sure. You'll be right smack in the center of the UIC campus. If your celebration gets out of hand, and someone starts a fire, just tell the cops that it's a tribute to the UIC Flames.

"T" writes: I'm a little concerned that this year's World Series champion Cubs don't have a poem about their double-play combination like Tinkers to Evers to Chance. Do we still have time for someone to write one before they win it all?

R&D: Your wish is our command.

"Theriot to DeRosa to Lee"
These are the words that have set us free,
Theriot to DeRosa to Lee,
They have one Gold Glove between the three,
Theriot to DeRosa to Lee,
The first two are scrappy, the third hits some doubles,
When they bat one, two, three, opponents have trouble,
We cheer them and pray, the bullpen won't burst our bubble,
Theriot to DeRosa to Lee.


- The Cubs Answer Men #1: Rule changes and parade seating.

- The Cubs Answer Men #2: Dress codes and left nuts.


Originally appearing at Half Empty. If you have any other questions about how to handle the World Series, feel free to send them to Rick and Dave. Between now and the big parade they'll try to get to as many of your questions as they can.

More from Beachwood Sports »

Agony & Ivy

Reclaim the Cubs!

Continue reading "Agony & Ivy" »

Posted on Jun 15, 2022

TrackNotes: Back To The Future

Will Bob Baffert ever go away? Churchill Downs Inc.: It's just what they do. Dickie D. dead. Cliches can shape your biorhythms. Double-teaming justice. You look just like. We asked one person, me.

Continue reading "TrackNotes: Back To The Future" »

Posted on Jan 28, 2022

The White Sox Report

Minnie Miñoso Was Very, Very Good To Us

Electric, indefatigable and, finally, undenied.

Continue reading "Minnie Miñoso Was Very, Very Good To Us" »

Posted on Dec 9, 2021