Beachwood Sports ArchiveA monthly look back
Beachwood Sports VideoPlease Stop Believing 99 Years of Cub Losses The 1908 Song Blame It On Bartman We Can't Wait 100 Years Dusty Must Get Fired
Search The Beachwood Reporter
Subscribe to the Newsletter
Okay, that wasn't much of a week. And you could be one of those fans who is all mad about the lack of offense, the continued Starlin Castro issues, or a bunch of other stuff - but forget all of that. There something that Cub fans haven't had to worry about in a long while, the All-Star game. And sure, it'd be nice, I guess, to get a few Cubbies in there, but forget that too. As stupid as it sounds, Cub fans have to actually care who wins that game for the first time since, well, since whenever Bud Selig got mad about that one tie and made the game count for home field advantage in the World Series.
I am late to the party on this as it's been going on for awhile, but it's time the Cubs have even a sniffer's chance of getting to the post-season. Now, do I think the Cubs will be in the World Series, no, not really, but they are in the playoff hunt and if you are in the hunt, then you should probably care. So now, what to do? The first thing to do is make sure Castro does not get in. The most deserving Cub would be Anthony Rizzo, but Paul Goldschmidt might be a better pick to win the game. And sure, Kris Bryant has had a nice start, but Nolan Arenado is having a monster year in Colorado. So let the manager pick Jason Hammel to pitch as the Cubs' player in the game. But maybe more importantly, all Cub fans should stuff the ballot box on the AL side and vote in the worst players possible.
So I went through this process and filled out my ballot. I didn't pick any Cubs on the NL side and as it turns out a whole bunch of White Sox players on the AL side. MLB has to think I am a big White Sox fan, which I'm not. It's just kind of weird that it broke down like that. I mean seriously, the White Sox position players at a lot of positions are really the worst.
And so starts what is hopefully a yearly tradition of stuffing the ballot box in favor of the Cubs - in a roundabout way.
The Week in Review: The Cubs split a four-game set with the Dodgers, which is fine, and then got swept by the Cardinals, which is also fine. Catching the Cardinals is already over, so it's just a wash to lose to them as they will be crushing all the other teams out there too. Not to mention they lost big-time players who they were going to count on at the beginning of the season. But it didn't matter, oh and they didn't have to tank the last three years on purpose to be good either.
The Week in Preview: The Cubs head to New York for three against the Mets and then come home for three against the Marlins. And don't look now - there are four looming next week vs the Cardinals, so, beat the Mets and Marlins.
Left Field Report: The Cubs continue to play Chris Coghlan in left - all seven games this week - and he continues to be, well, Chris Coghlan. And sure, he had a solid week, for Chris Coghlan, but he's just so Chris Coghlan. The Cubs will be much better off when he is pinch-hitter Chris Coghlan.
In former Cubs left fielder news, Glenallen Hill last played left field for the Cubs in the year 2000. He is currently the manager of the Albuquerque Isotopes, which is the AAA affiliate of the Rockies. He was apparently called "the juggler" in his playing days because he would juggle the ball, though I don't ever recall hearing that. But I do recall him being missed.
Mad(don) Scientist: Big Poppa Joe got into kind of a shoving match with an umpire this week, as well as ripping the replay system. He called for MLB to get more nerds involved. Nerds! Maybe he is right, but doesn't it just seem like nerds are kinda running everything these days? What's an angry umpire with a chip on their shoulder because they were never good enough to play the game themselves to do anymore?
Wishing Upon A Starlin: Our favorite Castro (sorry, Fidel) has been a three-time All-Star. He shouldn't be anywhere near Cincy for the All-Star game this year, though; well, unless Astros fans figure out my theory and vote him in . . .
Kubs Kalender: On Friday, the Cubs will be giving away Red, White and Brew tank tops to the first 5,000 bleacher adults attending the game. Which is sweet because, admit it bleacher people, you are going to throw up on at least one shirt on Friday, so you got an extra, which is nice.
Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares of America will trade higher this week. As will shares of bandages, and blown off appendages.
East Coast Cubs: Darwin Barney is not in Japan yet; he's still in the Dodgers' minor-league system. He also seems way too happy in this photo to be there.
Over/Under: The number of starts Jon Lester will have the rest of the season that will legitimize his contract: +/- 2.5.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that The Cardinals are good at baseball.
* Touch 'em all: The Cub Factor archives.
* Know thy enemy: The White Sox Reports.
Marty Gangler is our man on the Cub. He welcomes your comments.